


Carry You Home

by ImagineTheDragon



Series: I Wouldn't Mind [1]
Category: Seduce Me (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Post-Seduce Me 2: The Demon War, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:35:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 39,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23680927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImagineTheDragon/pseuds/ImagineTheDragon
Summary: Abigail Anderson's happy ending should have been guaranteed. It was within her reach. But her soon-to-be father in law has other plans. She loves Sam with all her heart, but she was trapped away from for three weeks. She doesn't know if she'll be the same.Implied/off-screen sexual assault
Relationships: Sam Anderson | Aomaris/Original Character(s)
Series: I Wouldn't Mind [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1799428
Comments: 20
Kudos: 43





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ngl gang, this is a very self indulgent what-if fic that got away from me. this quarantine got me revisiting dating sims i haven't touched in 4 years.  
> first chapter is fluff/sex, then we get INTO it so you've been warned. i've got this mostly written, posting it one chapter at a time to give me a chance to finish it. i'm also working on a re-write of the first game and a handful of short oneshots with abby and sam so i'll probably end up posting those too. because i crave attention and validation.  
> don't like don't read, (heavily) implied sexual assault, implied/discussed torture, hurt/comfort

It was two years after I had met the love of my life; we were going to be married in three days.

And he was being an absolute brat.

“Sam! Give me my phone back!” I yelled, chasing him down the long hallway. 

The love of my life, my sun and my moon, the one who made it all worth it, grinned tauntingly at me as he kept just far enough ahead of me to be out of reach but close enough that I thought I had a chance. Bastard. “Not until you tell me what was so interesting you ignored me all dinner!” he replied. 

I tried to put on another burst of speed, but he just laughed and used his infuriating incubus abilities to speed up in turn. “Cheater!”

“All’s fair in love and war!”

“That’s a James line! You just used a James line!”

That was enough to slow him a little as his eyebrows furrowed in appalled realization. “Oh god, it was a James line. What the fuck is wrong wi- hey!”

The distraction was exactly what I needed, giving me just enough of an edge to catch up and snatch my phone from his hand. I stuck out my tongue and danced away from him, waving the black rectangle in victory. “Gotcha!” I laughed, shoving it in the back pocket of my jeans. Before he could grab me, I started running again, going in the same direction he had been, knowing where he had been heading. “Come on, darling! You shoulda known better than to fall for that!”

He swore and started chasing me, but I was too close to my goal for him to steal the victory back. I skidded around a corner and leapt onto the sill of an open window, twisting with the ease of long practice to grab the edge of the roof. Panting now, I started hauling myself up, only for a warm hand to grab my ankle. He knew better than to try and pull me back, hanging out of a second story window like I was, but his hand was firm, telling me he wasn’t going to let me get up onto the roof either. 

“Sweet victory, I could almost taste it!” I cried dramatically, wiggling my leg in his grip. 

He laughed, then let me go to hop up next to me, putting an arm around me to keep me steady. “Whatcha gonna do now, Red?” he asked. Both of us were out of breath, and I let go of the roof with one hand to tap my chin as I pondered. 

“Hmmmm…” I squinted at him as if in deep thought. “I think you will make an excellent addition to the trophy room. Would you like to be stuffed, or mounted?”

His eyes flashed momentarily gold as he smirked at me. “Mounted.” 

I snorted and rolled my eyes, but nonetheless felt my cheeks heating. “You would, wouldn’t you?” I returned my hand to the roof and started pulling myself up. 

Sam immediately moved his arm, putting his hand under my ass to give me a boost, copping a feel while he was at it. “Oi! Watch your hands dork!” I laughed. 

I twisted so I was sitting on the roof and scooted back to give him enough space to hop up next to me. He grinned at me as he easily vaulted himself up, taking an easy lounging position beside me. 

We enjoyed the view of Chicago in the setting sun as we caught our breath. Of course, he caught his before I caught mine, but that was just a side effect of being a literal demon. 

I reached out and cuffed the side of his head. 

“Hey!”

“You deserved it. This time.”

“... Alright fine, but you’re gonna pay for that later.”   
I wiggled my eyebrows at him. “I sure hope so,” I said, a purr in my voice. 

Surprisingly, that made him blush a bit. I grinned at the small win before sliding a bit closer to him, pulling my legs to my chest and leaning against his side. “This is where we had our second kiss, remember?” I asked, reaching over to grab his hand, interlocking our fingers. 

Sam chuckled, giving my hand a squeeze. “It surprised me, that’s for sure. I didn’t think you’d be that cocky.”

“Me? Being cocky?” I said with a snort. “Bold words from the man who stole my  _ first _ kiss,” I teased. 

I glanced at him, seeing him rub his neck in discomfort. “Yeah yeah yeah, I know I know. I’ve apologized for that how many times now?” 

I quickly leaned in to plant a kiss on his cheek. “If I was actually upset about it, do you think I’d be marrying you, dweeb?” 

He glanced at me, smiling a bit. He ran his thumb over the ring he had put on my finger a few months ago. "I dunno, you could be playing the long con.”

“Ah yes! The long con!” I said dramatically. “I kiss you, woo you, do the do with you, all to get you up here at this very moment and push you off the roof for stealing my first kiss.” I jabbed him in the ribs. 

He snorted and released my hand so he could put an arm around me. “Alright alright, you’ve made your point. Wanna shut up and enjoy the view, doofus?”

I settled myself next to him with a laugh and nestled my head on his shoulder, wrapping my arms around my legs. I looked back out over the sunset-lit cityscape, becoming lost in thought about the days following our first meeting. Absently, I reached up and pulled the dog tag he had given me out from my shirt, running my thumb around the edge. The matching one he wore around his neck caught the orange light of the retreating sun, sparkling like a beacon. These moments with him were really nice, just sitting and quietly enjoying each other's company.

I glanced at Sam from the corner of my eye and smiled. I was really lucky to have him. He hadn’t made it easy at first, though. I had been about ready to tear him in half for using his powers on me and making me kiss him that first night. But the next morning had come, and he had gently ruffled my hair while I sat at the dining table, waiting for breakfast. That simple gesture, followed by him asking how I was doing in a tone that indicated he genuinely cared about the answer had been what gave me pause enough to take another look and see the Sam that was beneath the tough guy exterior. I turned my head to look at him properly, resting the side of my head on my palm. I think I could have drawn his face from memory. I spent so much time looking at it in disbelief that a man as attractive as he was had fallen for someone like me. 

I wasn’t ugly by any stretch, but he was a literal demon of desire. He could have had anyone he wanted, if he had been willing to use his powers on them. Even beyond that, he was incredibly easy on the eyes, strong, and even if he tried to deny it, he was a kind and caring man. I had never been able to rationalize why he had chosen me, but over the course of the two years we had been together, I had come to accept it.

He glanced over at me and arched an eyebrow. “What’s with the stare?”

“Just thinking about that first week. You were so determined to push me away at first.  _ And _ so determined to take all the blame for the Malix slash Diana slash energy draining keeping me passed out situation. Lucky for both of us I was too smart to be scared off by your tough guy routine, darling” I replied, smirking at him.

He smiled as he remembered with me, then arched an eyebrow. "Oh, you think it's a routine, huh?"

I narrowed my eyes at him for a moment, considering teasing him further, before laughing. I reached up and lightly caressed his cheek, my fingers barely ghosting over his skin. He practically purred at the touch, leaning into my hand a bit, his eyes softening from their mock-offended expression as he watched me. Like putty in my hands. "I think your heart of gold shines too brightly to be contained by any number of walls you put up," I told him, suddenly genuine. 

He flushed red. Suddenly the man who was known as the brute of the Abyssal Plains was lost for words. 

“You’re cute when you’re embarrassed,” I told him, enjoying watching him turn a brighter shade of red as I stroked his cheek with my thumb. “Who am I kidding? You’re always cute.”

“Cute?” Sam repeated, narrowing his eyes at me, trying to use annoyance to hide how flustered he was. I nodded, smile turning into a grin. 

“Cute. Adorable. Sweet. Pretty. Did I mention adorable already? I think I did.”

“Well now you’re just asking for it,” he said. I arched an eyebrow at him. What did he think he was gonna do while we were on the-

My train of thought was interrupted as he easily reached around me and tugged me to straddle his lap so I was lying on top of him, staring down into his emerald green eyes as they sparkled with mischief. I blew out my cheeks, and put my hands on his chest, momentarily flustered within the circle of his arms. I was good at the quick recovery though.

He was still looking up at me with a grin when I lowered my eyelids, looking at him through my lashes. “Mmmm, I don’t know, this seems dangerous. Me, the innocent maiden, alone on a roof with a nefarious scoundrel such as yourself.” I wiggled my hips slightly, smiling slyly as his eyes widened.

“You, innocent, Abby? I’ll believe a lot of things, but that’s a lot to swallow,” he tried to recover, but his voice was lower than it had been a moment ago. “Especially considering you’re wearing one of my shirts.”

I smiled at him, levering myself up into a sitting position to put a hand to my chest, the spitting image of a scandalized lady. His hands moved from surrounding me to gripping my hips as I adjusted myself. “You wound me, scoundrel!” I said whimsically. I tugged at the top I was wearing, indeed a tattered and old white v-neck of his. I pulled it down a bit, so more of my cleavage and the top of my lacy black bra was visible over the neckline. I saw him visibly gulp, eyes flashing momentarily gold. I smirked and licked my lips. Gotcha. “Also, that’s not the only thing of yours I’m wearing.”

He tilted his head curiously at me, and I enjoyed the way his eyes raked over me as he took inventory of everything I was wearing. I yawned and stretched, pressing my hips down on him a little bit. He rewarded my teasing by tightening his grip on my hips, fingers digging deliciously into me through my jeans.

"It's kinda warm up here, wouldn't you agree?" I asked. I gripped the edge of my shirt, pulling it up so it was sitting just below the bottom of my bra, twisting it into a knot. 

Sam had been about to reply, but the only sound he made was a whine low in his throat as I bared my stomach for him. I wasn't incredibly skinny, definitely had a decent amount of squish, but the way he looked at me with lust in his eyes always made me feel like a supermodel. 

His eyes were fixated on me as I reached down and stroked his cheek before trailing the tips of my fingers along his chest over his shirt from his collarbone to the top of his pants. 

My hands leaving him, I ran them slowly up my own body, flipping the tangle of my curly red hair over one shoulder, exposing the freckled curve of my neck. As close as we were to our wedding, I had barred him from leaving the marks there that we both usually relished. I was rewarded for my little show by an approving sound from the man beneath me.

Slowly, hands trailing back down myself, I undid my belt and released the button of my jeans, the zipper sliding halfway down just because of how I was positioned on him. He made a surprised noise as the undoing of my pants revealed the thick elastic of a pair of his boxers. I smirked down at him.

"What did I say?" I said in a soft, low voice. "The tough guy routine doesn't fool me." I took his hands from my hips and tugged them up to pin them to the roof either side of his head, giving him a good view of my chest as he allowed me to move him. I leaned forward, my lips hovering an inch above his. "Is this what you meant when you said you wanted to be mounted?" I asked with a smirk. I emphasized my words by grinding my hips against him again, making him moan. 

Before he could form a reply, I closed the distance between us, kissing him hungrily. He returned the kiss just as passionately, and I felt his hands twitch against where I had them pinned, but he didn't break my grip for now. I was enjoying being the one in control for a bit, even knowing it wouldn't last. 

I trailed my kisses away from his mouth, moving down his neck, nipping and pulling my teeth along his skin. I could tell he was trying to muffle his grunts of approval, but wasn’t doing a very good job of it. I, however, was also on a hickey-and-bite-mark ban, so after teasing him with soft love bites along his collarbone, worked my way back up to his mouth, kissing him deeply. 

I caught his lip between my teeth for a moment before pulling slightly away. Both of us were panting, and Sam was looking up at me with half lidded eyes that were flickering rapidly between green and gold. 

He always managed to make me feel special, loved, protected, and desirable. What had I done to deserve him? We were getting married,  _ married _ , in a few days. He was already mine, I was already his, but this was the next step of our relationship, and it still felt important, sending butterflies winging through my stomach at the thought. 

"You alright?" he asked, concerned by my sudden stillness. 

I released his wrists and brought my hands up to tangle in his hair, crushing my lips back to his with a moan.

Suddenly freed from their prison, his arms moved around my back, pulling me more firmly to his chest before his hands pushed beneath my shirt, blunt nails digging into my back. I groaned into his mouth, feeling my nerves light up at his rough handling. 

I ground myself down onto his hips, looking for some relief from the heat building in my core. Sam dragged his nails down my back in response, pushing himself up into me and moaning. 

"C'mon, Sam, we should at least charge if we’re gonna give the neighbours a show.” The nearest other house on this side of the mansion was a long way off and mostly blocked by trees, so I wasn't truly worried about being spotted. But the evening spring air was starting to get cold. Not to mention the shingles had to be rough on Sam’s back. 

The world turned into a blur as Sam scooped me up beneath one arm, keeping me pressed to him as he swiftly brought us inside, only to stop by the banister across the top of the main stair cases. 

I arched an eyebrow at him as I took note of where we were. I pulled away from him, sashaying my hips a bit as I leaned my elbows on the railing, pretending to study the entryway below us. My eyes might have been facing forward, but all my attention was on the man behind me as he watched me hungrily. 

I tugged my long and unruly hair over my shoulder, glancing back at him with a smirk. “What’re you waiting for, big man?” I wiggled my ass a bit. 

That was all the invitation he needed. I gasped as Sam’s strong hands grabbed my waist, pulling me back against his hips. He easily ripped the shirt off of me, and despite the massive strength he had, he still ensured the fabric didn’t yank on me as it gave way to his hands. “Hey! I liked that top,” I said, pouting back at him. He smirked, eyes full of desire as he moved his hands to the waist of my jeans, hooking his fingers under the waistband. 

“My shirt,” he said, voice a growl. “I get to wreck it.”

That was fair, I supposed. I’d just steal another one from his side of the closet.

I pushed back against him with a whine, now frustrated at how his hands had stilled. Taking the hint, he yanked my already undone pants and the boxers I was wearing down around my ankles in one swift motion. I stepped out of them and kicked them away, no longer caring what happened to anything I was wearing as long as his hands kept themselves on me. 

There was a sudden rush of air, and my bra was gone. I squeaked in surprise, looking back over my shoulder to see Sam naked behind me, his fingers digging into my hips with bright golden eyes. I let out a gasp, closing my eyes and biting my lip as I felt his enthrallment fall over me.

"You drive me nuts, you know that?" His voice was almost a growl, full of desire.

I opened my eyes again, looking half lidded at him in arousal. "God I hope so. Otherwise I'd be putting in all this work for nothing,” I panted, squirming needily against his grip on my hips. 

He growled in some mixture of amusement and horniness and raised a hand, giving my ass a smack. 

I whimpered and pushed back against him. “C’mon Sam.” My voice came out as more of a needy whine than I wanted it to, but I couldn’t help myself. 

I didn’t need to ask twice. 

I groaned in pleasure as he finally gave me what I wanted. His hands moved up my body, one to cup a breast, the other to tangle in my hair and pull me inexorably back, my spine arching deliciously. The sensation of my energy draining from me made me feel incredibly warm, heightening every touch and movement.

I would never call what Sam and I did ‘making love.’ We both liked it too rough to call it something as soft as that. But no matter how many scratch marks we left on each other, how many hickeys or bite marks, we both loved it, and it made us feel closer to one another. 

I pushed my back against his chest, my moans and cries getting louder as his tempo increased and his hand moved from my hair to my chin, turning my head to capture my mouth with his. Our mutual sounds of pleasure were temporarily lost in each other until we broke our kiss, foreheads pressed together, locking eyes with one another. 

“Aomaris,” I whispered between heavy breaths, knowing how his true name drove him wild. With a snarl, his hand moved from my chin to my throat, masterfully slowing my blood flow without cutting off my air, the tempo of his movements increasing. His lips and teeth danced along my neck, careful to not leave marks but firm enough to draw whimpers of approval from me. My eyes rolled back in my head at the combination of sensations, my hips bucking back to meet his with each thrust. 

We finished together with loud cries, his hand moving from my throat to wrap around my shoulders, holding me to his chest as we panted. My legs were trembling with aftershocks, and I realized that if he hadn’t been holding me I would have collapsed to the marble floor. 

We stood there for a few moments, Sam nuzzling into the crook of my neck, me gripping his arm around me as I did my best to just remain standing. 

I yelped in surprise as Sam scooped me up, my arms automatically going around his neck. 

“Let’s go lay down for a minute,” he suggested, still out of breath. I nodded in agreement, but pointed to where my jeans had landed. 

“Bring my phone, please.” I had something I wanted to show him, and I knew neither of us was going to want to leave bed for a while once we lay down. 

He looked at me somewhat incredulously, but hooked the belt of my pants with a toe, kicking it up to grab it with the hand that was supporting my legs. 

I kissed his cheek, and he seemed slightly mollified.

He gently set me on our bed, putting my pants on the floor beside us before laying down beside me, wrapping himself around me and nuzzling into my shoulder.   
I traced patterns on his chest as our heartbeats slowed. “The next time you steal my phone, I kill you and fly your skin from the flagpole out front.” 

He laughed at my obviously very empty threat. “Next time don’t ignore me at dinner.” His fingers combed through my hair, and I practically purred at the sensation. 

“You wanna see what I was looking at? Is that it? What if I was trying to surprise you!” I reluctantly pulled away from his hands to give him a playful glare.

Sam leaned forward and rubbed his nose to mine, bright green eyes gazing at me, making me melt at how much love I saw in them. “Shoulda been more subtle then,” he said before pressing a kiss to my lips.

I hummed happily, kissing him back for a moment before he pulled away. I pouted, but he just chuckled and ruffled my hair before twisting to grab my jeans and the phone still shoved in the pocket, handing it to me. His arms were looped back around me, pinning me to his chest. I didn’t mind. He was delightfully warm.

I unlocked it and opened the window I had been using before Sam had snatched it from me, turning it so he could see it.

He peered at the screen for a moment, not understanding. “A… dog?” he asked, arching an eyebrow at me. 

“A  _ pregnant  _ dog,” I agreed. “Her puppies will be born in a couple days. They’ll be ready to go home in about two and a half months. My mom is friends with the owner, so we’d get first pick if we decided to get one.”

He looked at me in surprise for a moment before a grin started growing on his face. We had both wanted a dog for a while, but we’d figured it wouldn’t be fair to an animal to get one while he was getting used to his new job and I was figuring out my schooling. Now, we were about to get married, he was settled into work, and I was well on my way to my paleontology degree, so I had started looking. 

“What kind are they gonna be?” Sam asked excitedly, tilting my phone to get a better look. 

I giggled at his excitement. “They’re gonna be mutts. Their mom is a German Shepard rottweiler mix, and their dad is a golden retriever.” I took my phone back and pulled up photos of each breed in turn. “See? They’ll look something like this.” I pulled up an image of the mix, handing the phone to him so he could look all he wanted. 

His eyes were still wide with excitement. I smiled up at him, happy that he was happy. 

“Now,” I said as he handed my phone back, tone turning serious as I wedged it between us. “This is gonna be a big responsibility we’re taking on.” Sam nodded, matching my serious expression. “They’re gonna need lots of attention, especially at first.” He nodded somberly, and I had to fight back a smile at how seriously he was taking this. “And this is gonna be a big dog once they’re full grown. They’re gonna need lots of food, lots of space, and, most importantly, walkies.” I wasn’t able to stop my lip from twitching. “Lots and lots of walkies.”

Sam now looked like he was also fighting off a smile. I fought my own amusement harder and reached up, grabbing the sides of his face between both of my hands. “Excuse you, mister. This is serious.” I lasted about five more seconds before a massive grin split my face. 

He leaned forward and kissed me, slow and gentle. My phone was cold pressed between us, but neither of us seemed to notice. 

“What are we gonna name them?” he asked, pulling away a bit. He was still brimming with excitement. He was adorable. 

I ran my thumb across his cheek and kissed his nose. “You can come up with a few options if you want. With the dogs I’ve had, their names came after I knew their personality.”

Sam’s eyes widened with renewed shock. “You’re letting me choose their name?”

“Of course!” I said with a nod. “I can help you if you want, give suggestions, but it’ll be your choice.”

He pulled me tighter to his chest, resting his cheek on top of my head. “Thanks, doofus.”

I nuzzled into his chest. “It’s literally the least I can do, dweeb.”

I loved this man, and he loved me. We could take on the world as long as we were together. And nothing would tear us apart. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rip i forgot i was posting this because 1) i posted that first chapter at like 2am and 2) i'm a moron. here's to hoping i don't od on dumb bitch juice and post the next chapter in a reasonable timeframe

"Help!" 

I was surrounded in blackness, a set of rough, jabbing hands wrapped around my ankles, dragging me down, down, deeper through the shadows and toward god knew where. Suddenly, the hands were gone, and I was crashing to a hard stone floor.

Breathing heavily, I focused on my hands on the ground in front of me. My freshly manicured nails looked odd against the rough hewn stone that was the floor. I would have to tell my manicurist that the polish she used was nigh chip-proof. My wedding dress, a simple A-line lace affair, gathered around my knees. I was going to have bruises. Or maybe my fall had broken the skin. That was something I was going to have to address, but first I needed to figure out what had happened-

“You- What are  _ you  _ doing here?” came a voice. It sounded familiar. 

My head snapped up, and my breath froze in my chest. Standing in front of me was a motley collection of… demons? They had to be. One was clearly a succubus. She had the coloured swirls and the horns. The other ones I wasn’t sure about. Rabbit ears, wings, massive muscles, hair that seemed to move on its own. They were all watching me in shock. 

I looked at the one who had spoken to me again, the succubus. Something about her was  _ ominously  _ familiar. The shape of her face, her hair. 

“Di- Diana?” 

Before she could respond, the ground beneath me was lit by a red and purple pentagram. I had time to reach a pleading hand towards the demon I thought was Diana before I was being pulled back into the ground, the blackness swallowing me once more.

“Nice try,” came the high, scathing voice I had heard when the ground had opened beneath me in front of my grandfather’s grave. “You’re not getting away from me this time!”

~~~

I had no idea how long I had been there. The cold metal of the cage bars pressed unforgivingly against my bare back. When was the last time I had eaten? It didn’t matter, not really. My days were an endless cycle of pain, broken up by what little, fitful sleep I could get.

My magic refused to answer my call. I couldn’t even sense it in my veins, hadn’t been able to since I was first brought here. 

The sounds of screams had become almost normal. I barely flinched when I heard people calling for help anymore.

Now, I just felt numb.

When I had first gotten here, I had tried to be strong. I held my head high, I fought back. Now, I sat here, naked, covered in cuts from cruel knives, bones visible through bruised skin, just waiting for them to kill me. 

I had called for him. Aomaris. My Sam. Even now I sometimes found myself murmuring his name like a talisman. He promised to always come when I called. He promised.

Once I figured out exactly how far from home I was, in a different realm, the realm my love had grown up in, I thought that was it. He couldn’t hear me from the human world. But the days had gone by and he still hadn’t answered. Then I told myself that the cage, or even the dungeon itself that I was trapped in, was warded somehow, stopping him from getting to me. Because he had to be looking for me, right?

The imps and demons here took so much pleasure from torturing me. I didn't know how much more pain I could take before I begged them to kill me. It took over every part of my brain. I couldn’t think. I screamed and begged for Sam to come save me until my throat was raw but the pain never stopped. And he never came for me. 

What if he wasn’t looking? I loved him so much, and I  _ knew  _ he loved me. But what if I wasn’t worth the trouble it would take to get to me? Or did he think I left him at the altar? That I had run off, gone somewhere he couldn’t find me? Would he think that little of me? I didn’t have the answers, and trying to think about it was driving me more insane than what I was being put through.

His father, the Demon Lord, had visited me. Several times. I physically shuddered at the memory of his uncaring and cruel hands on me. It was all I could do to not throw up what little bile I had left in my stomach.

What if Sam knew? Could he tell? Did he know that another man’s hands had been on me? I didn’t think so. But some part of me wondered. 

At first, I drew strength from the thought of him coming for me. My Sam. Bursting through the doors, bloody and tired from fighting his way to me. He would scoop me up and take me away from here and make it all better. 

Now when I thought of it I flinched. I was a shade of the woman I used to be. Physically and mentally. My once brilliantly curly red hair hung around me in thin greasy tendrils. My ribs pushed against the skin of my stomach like they were trying to escape. On the rare occasion that I caught sight of myself on a reflective surface, I barely recognized what this place had turned me into. My eyes were sunken, devoid of the light and laughter he always told me he loved so much. I didn’t think I had a witty quip left in me.

If Sam found me now, would he want me back?

Absently, I touched the dog tag hanging on the chain around my throat. I ran my thumb around the edge of it, tracing its shape. They had let me keep it 'as a reminder of what you will never see again.' It didn't help, not in any real way, but sometimes having a piece of my past life around my neck was all that kept me together.

“Come on, pretty, your turn again,” came a cackling voice I had come to dread. An imp rattled a set of keys mockingly outside my cage. 

I whimpered and tried to push further back, but barely had the strength to do more than twitch.

Before the imp had time to do more than chuckle maliciously at my pathetic cowering, the sounds of fighting reached both of our ears. It was a mix of gunshots, heavy wet thwaps, slicing, and terrified screaming. A flicker of hope I had thought dead burst to life in my chest. 

The imp, suddenly nervous, backed away from my cage and took a step backwards down the hall. All my attention was focused on the door I could barely see at the other end of the hall. 

It slammed open, and several people crashed through. 

“Find her!” I heard one of them yell, James, I thought.

“Well duh, she’s the whole reason we’re here!” Matthew replied.    
“Princess? Are you here?” Erik called. 

I licked my cracked lips, trying to call out to them as they ran towards me checking the cages as they went, but my voice wouldn’t come out as more than a barely audible croak. 

I hardly flinched as one of Erik’s tentacles of energy burst from the ground and slammed into the imp, splattering it against the wall as it tried to run away. Sam? Was Sam with them? Now that they were coming closer, I could see there were only four of them, not the five I had been expecting. 

“I think I can hear her,” came Damien’s level voice. “I can’t pinpoint exactly where though, she’s very weak.” 

Something in me deflated. James, Matthew, Erik, and Damien. Sam wasn’t with them. He hadn’t come for me. 

“Abigail?” James called. They rushed past my cage, not even seeing me. I didn’t blame them. My previously fiery red hair was gross and dingy. I had lost so much weight, and my skin was so covered in dirt, bruises, and cuts, I probably looked like a corpse propped in the corner of the cage. 

I tried to speak again, but still no words came out. 

_ Damien, please, _ I put all the energy I could into my thoughts, hoping that shouting them in my mind would help him find me. If I had any happiness left in my chest I would have smiled as he stopped, turning around. 

“Back here, we passed her!” Damien called to his brothers. 

I closed my eyes and tears started making their way down my cheeks. They found me. Even if Sam didn’t care enough to come for me, the other boys had, and they had found me. The nightmare was over. 

“Is… is that her?” came a quiet voice. Matthew, I thought. I kept my eyes closed. If I saw the pity they were undoubtedly looking at me with, I’d fall apart more than I already was

I heard James snarl, “Erik, get the lock off.”

Almost before he had stopped talking, there was a snapping sound as Erik used a tentacle to break the lock on my cage. I couldn’t help the small whimper that escaped my lips at the loud noise, curling further in on myself. 

“Abigail, you’re okay now,” Damien said in a soothing tone. 

“Please…” I managed to whisper, not sure myself what I was asking for. 

Someone stepped into the cage with me, and I whimpered again, cowering away reflexively. “It’s me, Abigail. It’s James,” the eldest brother said in a calm, level tone. Like he was talking to a wild animal. “I’m going to pick you up, okay? Then we’re going to get you out of here to somewhere safe. Is that alright?”

The smell of blood, waste, and suffering that I had gotten used to over however long I had been here suddenly started burning in my nostrils. I wanted that more than anything. Everything else could be dealt with later. 

I tried to speak again, but once more, no sound came out, so I nodded. The movement sent twinges of pain through my neck and back. 

“Okay, here we go.” James was trying to hide the anger in his voice, and was doing a decent job of it. I could still tell he was enraged at the state I was in, but he managed to keep his tone level enough that I didn’t cower any more from him as he scooped me up, one arm supporting my head and shoulders, the other beneath my knees, holding me securely to his chest.

“She looks so-”

“Be quiet Matthew,” Erik cut him off before the younger incubus could finish his thought. 

I kept my eyes shut tight, not willing to leave my cocoon of darkness just yet. 

A burst of gold light, and the air around us suddenly becoming warm was the only indication I had that we had changed location. Then there were several gasps. I thought I recognized Iridessa and Noryn’s voices among them, but I wasn’t sure. What were they doing here? Had all of them brought their wives?

“Get a blanket, please,” James asked someone. He moved me as little as possible as he wrapped me in something soft before clearing his throat. 

“Abigail, can you call Sam, please?” 

My eyes snapped open, and I felt myself tremble as panic gripped me. “I tried… so long… no answer,” I croaked out. James was looking down at me, eyes full of concern. The other incubi and the girls were all around me, watching me carefully. Just like I was afraid of, they were all looking at me in pity. I felt shame twist in my gut at what they must think of me. Weak. Stupid. 

"No one thinks badly of you, Abigail," came Damien's soothing voice. I flinched a bit, upset that he had heard my self-pitying thoughts.

Matthew was suddenly holding a glass of water for me, helping me take a few slow sips. I smiled gratefully at him before coughing, my throat feeling a bit better.

“They were keeping you somewhere Sam couldn’t hear you, princess,” Erik said, softly moving a greasy chunk of tangled hair from my face with careful fingers. 

“He’ll come now if you call him!” Matthew added. “Any of us could do it, but… it would probably be better if he heard you first.”

I looked around at my friends again, fear still clouding my mind. They were smiling at me as best they could, but it didn’t reach their worried eyes. 

I had had that same thought myself, that he couldn’t hear me, but why hadn’t he been with the other boys when they came to rescue me? What if he didn’t love me anymore? What if-

“Sam's been tearing the Abyssal Plain apart looking for you,” Damien said in response to my runaway thoughts. “He would have done something rash if we had brought him with us to get you. He wants you to be safe more than he’s wanted anything in his life.”

James’ lips pressed into a thin line as he nodded. “We worried that he would accidentally hurt you, or jeopardize the plan in his anger. But yes, he will hear you now.”

They watched me in silence for a moment as I let their words sink in. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes before whispering his name.    
“Aomaris.”

The result was immediate and explosive. 

The room was filled with gusting winds and a bright purple light that I could see even through my closed eyelids. I barely recognized Sam’s voice as his furious yelling filled the room. I instinctively curled into James’ chest, whimpering in fear. His grip on me tightened slightly, indicating he wouldn’t let anything happen to me.

The yelling suddenly stopped as, I assumed, Sam caught sight of me.

“You fucking went to get her without me?!” And there it was, the yelling, back again. His rage-filled voice resonated in a way that told me he was in his full incubi form. “What did they do to her?! Give her here!”

Eyes still tightly closed, I weakly gripped James’ sweater. I wanted to see Sam. He was the man I loved more than anything. But I was terrified. Anger had come to mean pain for me, and he was  _ furious _ .

“You’re scaring her!” James snapped, taking a step away from his enraged brother. 

“Calm down, Sam,” Damien added reproachfully. “She’s been through a lot, and this is making her worse.”

Sam gave an incoherent snarl, but he didn’t yell again. No one said anything as his heavy breathing began to slow over the course of a few minutes. I couldn’t stop the occasional whimper of panic that escaped my lips as I trembled against James' chest.

“Abigail, can I see you?” he asked eventually. I could tell he was trying so hard to suppress his rage, but I could hear it bubbling beneath the surface of every word. 

I whined again, but slowly opened my eyes, turning my head slightly to see him. There was Sam. My Sam, a few feet away, giving me space. He was indeed in his full incubi form, green horns jutting from his head, emerald swirls marking his torso. His arms were half extended towards me, practically pleading to hold me. He was shaking with restrained anger, but his eyes were full of panic and worry. He was terrified. 

That was what finally cut through my own fear and allowed me to unlock my fingers from where they clutched at James’ sweater. I looked up at him and nodded slightly. He was tightlipped and angry himself, but he gave me a tense smile and moved to hold me out to Sam.

Faster than my human eyes could follow, Sam took me from his brother and sat cross legged on the ground, cradling me carefully in his lap. Despite the fury I could see in the tense lines of his muscled shoulders and how he was shaking, his hands were exceedingly gentle as he carefully ran them over my body through the blanket, trying to judge how badly hurt I was. His smell surrounded me, comforting me in its familiar mix of fresh mountain air and something that was uniquely his. There was also the subtle scent of blood underneath that, quickly fading.

One of his trembling hands moved up to my face, softly touching my cheek, my temple, tracing around the outline of my mouth, almost as though he was reassuring himself that he was really holding me. 

“What did they do to you, Abby?” he asked in a choked voice. Tears were gathering in the corners of his eyes as he looked down at me. 

I must have been a sight, even if he could only see my head and the top of my shoulders above the blanket James had wrapped me in. Dirty and covered in half-healed cuts. I knew I had the remnants of a black eye still healing, and a deep cut along the left side of my head, and many other gashes and purple bruises that I had lost track of besides. He had loved my hair so much. What did he see now? Greasy strands, thinner than it used to be, none of its previous healthy bounce or colour. As odd as it was, I felt ashamed that I didn’t look good for him.

I opened my mouth, but what could I say? I was tortured for... however long they had me? They drained me with magic until my bones pushed against my skin and I couldn’t stand on my own? His  _ father  _ put hands on me?

I shut my mouth again and slowly, painfully disentangled my arm a bit more from the blanket, reaching up to cup the side of Sam’s face. Reflexively, he nuzzled into my touch, tears streaking down his cheeks now. “Hey. None of that,” I said, barely recognizing my own voice with how raspy it was. I used my thumb to wipe at his tears. “I’m here now. You’ve got me.” 

I barely noticed the others stepping away, James and Erik not quite leaving the room, but giving us space. 

It still didn’t feel quite real. He was here. He was holding me. He had been trying to find me the whole time, killing who knew how many demons to try and get to me. 

He looked at me sadly as he covered my hand on his cheek with one of his own, closing his eyes for a moment as he focused on my touch. “I failed you,” he finally said, his voice ragged with either grief or anger. I couldn’t tell which. “They tortured you for four days and I couldn’t stop them.”

I frowned up at him. It had only been four days? That couldn’t be right, but it also didn't seem important right at that moment. “I’m still here though, Sammy. You did everything you could, and I’m still here.” 

He opened his eyes to look at me again, pulling me closer to his chest with the hand not cupping my own against his cheek. He was still crying, and my heart hurt to see it. “You’re the most important person in the world to me, and I couldn’t protect you.” His voice broke, and he closed his eyes again, seeming to focus on the physical sensation of me in his lap. His warmth, heightened by his demon form, felt good on my battered body.

All the thoughts I had had of him abandoning me, how could I have doubted him? Tears began to fall anew from my own eyes. If what Damien had said was true, and I had no reason to doubt him, Sam had been putting himself at risk looking for me the whole time I was gone. 

“It’s okay, Sam,” I told him, trying to smile through my tears. “I’ll… I’ll be okay. You’ve got me, and I’ll be okay.” 

He just shook his head and leaned forward, pressing his forehead to mine. “I’ll kill them all,” he promised. “Every last bastard that laid a hand on you. I’ll tear them apart,” he swore, rage burbling in his voice once more. 

I moved my hand from his cheek to the back of his head, tangling my weak fingers in his scruffy brown hair. He was always so angry. I trusted him completely to turn that anger on people who deserved his wrath, but I always worried about him. I had just gotten him back. I didn’t want him to get hurt, or worse, trying to avenge me. “Sam, Sammy, Aomaris, look at me. Please?” 

He opened his eyes, not moving from me. Looking in his green eyes an inch away from my own, I could plainly see how upset and afraid he was. “Sam. Stay with me. Please? I need you.” I hated the tremor in my voice, the weakness it showed. But I had him back, and if he left me, even to take vengeance on those who had hurt me, something in my chest would break, and I might never come back. “Please?” I repeated plaintively. 

He stared at me for a moment, his desire to kill those who hurt me fighting briefly with his desire to stay with me as I asked. He closed his eyes again and he nodded against my forehead. “Of course, Abby.”

I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding and closed my eyes as well, just enjoying the feeling of holding him and being held. We stayed like that for a long time before Sam finally sat up a bit. 

“I’m gonna take her to my room so she can sleep,” he said, presumably talking to his brothers. I disentangled my hand from his hair but kept it pressed against his chest as he stood up, cradling me carefully against him. 

“She needs a bath, and someone to see to her injuries,” James replied. I kept my eyes closed, but I could almost see the older demon’s scowl.

Sam’s muscles tensed beneath my palm. “You think I don’t know that?! Look at her, she’s exhausted! That stuff will take time, and she needs to get some proper sleep.” I think he thought I was already asleep. He was trying to keep his voice down. Wasn’t doing a  _ great _ job, but I loved that he was trying. 

“She’s going to get an infection, Sam,” came Iridessa’s quiet voice. “At least see if Diana can use magic to clean them for her.” 

Sam snarled, but didn’t reply. I felt him start walking, unsure where he was taking me, but trusting him completely. I only had one thought as I drifted into a dreamless sleep:  _ Safe. _

~~~

Diana cleaned Abigail up and healed most of her injuries. The succubus seemed genuinely upset at his fiancee’s condition, but Sam didn’t have the patience to stick around for a conversation. He bundled the sleeping Abigail off to his room, careful to not jostle her as he moved down the halls of Lilith Castle. 

She was horrifyingly skinny, her hair still tangled and dingy, but Sam was certain he hadn’t seen anyone more beautiful. 

He carefully unwrapped her from the blanket his brothers had put her in, starting at her nakedness. Those bastards that had been keeping her captive hadn’t even given her the dignity of clothes? Rage filled him again, but he forced himself to carefully tuck his love into the soft bed before putting his human glamour on and crawling in beside her. 

He couldn’t stop looking at her. 

The past four days had been a frenzied nightmare, passing for him in a red haze as he tore through anyone who would get in his way, searching for her. 

He wouldn’t let anyone take her from him again. 

He curled carefully around her, incredibly conscious of her fragile limbs. He rested his cheek on the top of her head and slowly stroked her hair. “You’re safe now,” he choked out through a lump in his throat. “I won’t let anyone hurt you, Abigail.” He kissed the top of her head. She snuggled closer to him in her sleep, and he had to bite back a sob. 

He came so close to losing her. 

She had been in danger  _ again  _ because of him. She'd been put through god knew what, and was clearly traumatized. How the  _ hell  _ was he supposed to help her recover from this when it was his fault for letting her be in the situation in the first place?

He had been tearing demons apart with his bare hands, blood dripping from every part of him as he raided another of the Demon Lord’s strongholds. Nothing could stand in the way of his fury, red clouding his vision as he tore through the place.

Then he had heard it. It resonated in his soul, inexorably tugging him towards the one who had said his true name. It was a whisper, a breath that would hardly have been audible to someone standing next to the one who spoke it, but he knew that voice deep in his bones.  _ Abigail _ . 

She sounded so… defeated. In pain, scared.

Immediately, urging it faster, he had allowed the summoning magic to pull him away from the lesser demon he was tearing in two. The red haze of his anger stayed as he teleported to Lilith Castle, blood and viscera burning off of him as he made the transition. 

He was so  _ angry _ at his brothers. How  _ dare _ they not get him when it was  _ his  _ love that was in danger. 

It felt like his heart stopped when he saw her a moment later in James’ arms. She was so much skinnier than she should have been. What little he could see of her was covered in bruises and lacerations, and she cowered into James’ chest.

That wasn’t like her. Abigail had always been a fighter. She was strong beyond even him. She was proud, and goofy, and had the most indomitable spirit he knew. 

What had they done to her? They would suffer before he tore their heads from their bodies. The sky would shake and the ground would split and they would die  _ screaming _ for what they did to her. 

He closed his eyes and tried to shut out thoughts of revenge, for now at least. She was in his arms, and he would take care of her, and she would get better. 

And the monsters that did this to her would pay later. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a chapter update in a timely fashion? wild. who am I

I woke up in a soft bed, still naked, but feeling less sore. The familiar flicker of my magic beneath my skin made me smile slightly, eyes still shut as I relished the feeling of a comfortable mattress.

I shifted a bit, but paused as I realized someone was wrapped around me. I opened my eyes to see Sam, back in his human form, arms surrounding me, legs curled up and tangled with my own almost as if to completely encase me. 

So it hadn’t been a dream.

I was facing him, and took a moment to just look at his sleeping face. Worry still twisted his features, but he seemed much more calm. I slowly reached up and softly touched his face, trying to reassure myself that he was real, that it was over. I brushed the knuckles of my hand against his cheek, the familiar feel of his skin immediately making me feel better. 

At my touch, he shifted slightly, and I reflexively retracted my hand, regretting disturbing him. But as his eyes blearily blinked open, he seemed upset with himself. 

“Dammit. Sorry, Abby. I tried to stay awake until you woke up.” 

I smiled, reaching back up to cup his face this time. I went to speak, to say it was fine, that he didn’t need to worry about staying up for me, when the concern I saw in his eyes brought everything I had gone through crashing down around me. 

The ghosts of knives split my skin, hot pokers burned my flesh, spectral hands yanked my hair and pushed and pulled at me. I whimpered at the memories, suddenly tangible, and I pulled my hand back towards myself, burying my face in Sam’s chest. 

“Hey,” he said, running his hands up and down my back comfortingly. “You’re okay now. I’ve gotcha.” 

I just whined in response, pushing myself closer to him. His hands kept gently moving on my back, sometimes drawing patterns, other times just moving up and down, back and forth. It gave me something physical to cling to. His heartbeat, steady and strong, was comforting. Sam was here. My Sam. He would make me safe until I could make myself safe again. 

It took a while, but eventually my panic passed, and I looked up at him, tears trailing down my face. “Sorry,” I said thickly, rubbing my nose with the back of my hand. “That’s probably gonna happen for a while, huh?” I tried to make it a lighthearted joke, but it fell flat in my teary voice. 

Sam pulled back a bit to better look me in the eyes. “Don’t apologize for that, Abby,” he said, leaning in to kiss my forehead. “You don’t have to apologize for being upset about anything, let alone being upset about something like this.” 

I smiled a bit at that before angling my face up to catch his lips in a quick kiss. Sam seemed to have other ideas, deepening it with a sudden, desperate hunger that had nothing to do with his incubus heritage. He didn’t take any energy from me, which I was grateful for in a distant way. I didn’t think I had any to spare. I kissed him back, my own hunger for him matching his for me. 

“I thought I’d lost you,” he murmured a few moments later, lips still brushing mine as he pulled away from me just enough to speak, his nose rubbing softly against mine. “I thought I was never going to see you again.” I looked up at him, seeing the pain and echoes of fear in his eyes and opened my mouth to reply, but he continued. “I thought you were gone, but you were suffering. And I didn’t stop it.” He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against mine. “Can you ever forgive me?” 

Sam had always been protective of me, but I had always tried to never put my safety in his hands alone. I never wanted to be that kind of girl, I wanted to be able to take care of myself. Recent bout of kidnapping and torture asside, I had done a fairly good job of not relying on him coming to save me. The last thing I wanted was for him to blame himself. I certainly didn’t blame him. 

I closed my eyes and nuzzled against him. “There’s nothing to forgive, darling. Nothing you could have done would have changed what happened. And it sounds like you did a lot anyway. It was your father. He ordered the torture and he came into my cage and he-” I felt the ghosts of his hands on me again and shuddered, pushing against Sam for comfort. I was almost glad the memories had cut off my babbling. My mother always said some things were given more power when you spoke them out loud. 

Sam had frozen for a moment at the mention of his father before his hands automatically resumed tracing their comforting pattern against my back. “It doesn’t matter what he did _. _ The point is there’s nothing you could have done differently,” I finished. 

I pulled back a bit and opened my eyes and froze. Sam’s usually emerald green eyes were glowing a brilliant, furious gold. No white, no pupil, just glowing gold. His hands were as gentle as ever, but it felt like the temperature of the room had dropped a few degrees. 

“My father did this to you?” he asked, voice barely above a murmur. “He…  _ hurt _ you himself?”

I averted my gaze, looking above us at the canopy of the bed. I couldn’t bring myself to say anything, but that was answer enough. I was also fighting the urge to get away from him. No matter how much I knew that it wasn’t directed at me, the anger in his eyes frightened me. 

Sam’s chest rumbled beneath my hands, a snarl building before he swallowed it down as I flinched, pulling out of the circle of his arms and cowering away from him towards the edge of the bed reflexively.  _ Found the line _ , some distant, amused part of my brain observed wryly. 

What little logical part of my brain was left knew that it was directed at the Demon Lord. Sam would never hurt me. Never ever. But the part of my brain that had been keeping me alive was stronger than the logical part. 

His eyes blinked back to their usual green as he realized what was happening, and he started to pull me back to him for a moment before he thought better of it and let me go Giving me space. 

I trembled, curling up on myself, arms wrapping around my legs for a moment before looking back up at him. Guilt and apology were written all over his face. I closed my eyes and gripped the dog tag around my neck for a moment, trying to recentre myself. This was Sam. Sam was not his father. No matter how angry he got, he would never hurt me. I repeated the reminder to myself until my thundering heartbeat began to slow.

With a final deep breath, I opened my eyes again, uncurling myself as I reached for him, silently asking for physical comfort. Immediately his arms were around me once more, his face pressed into my greasy hair. I buried my face in the spot where his neck met his shoulder, inhaling his comforting scent. My heart was still racing, but as his hands started moving on my back again it began to slow. 

“How about we get you some food, then we get you a bath, alright?” he asked after a few minutes of just holding me. His voice was still thick with guilt. 

I nodded into his shoulder, taking a deep breath, as my shaking lessened to a point that it was almost unnoticeable. “Only if they have pancakes in this dimension,” I replied. I looked up and gave his nose a quick kiss, smiling at the slight blush that graced his face. “I  _ am  _ gonna need clothes though.”

As though on cue, the purple succubus I had seen when all this began stepped into the room. “Here, for you,” she said simply, setting a stack of clothes on the foot of the bed. 

“You ever knock?” Sam asked irritably, pulling the blanket up over me a bit more. 

She chuckled. “Me, knock on a door in my own castle?” 

I stuck my head over the edge of the blanket. Now that I heard her say more than six words there was no mistaking her. “You  _ are _ Diana!” I exclaimed.

Smile falling from her lips, she looked at me rather sadly. “Yes,” she replied. “I wanted to apologize. Saero tried to interrupt the Demon Lord’s summoning of you. We still don’t know how he was able to resume it after the interruption.”

“Cocky bastard isn’t as good as he thinks he is,” Sam muttered. I gave him a light smack in the chest before returning my attention to Diana. 

“It’s alright Diana. I’m sure you did everything you could.” 

She bit her lower lip, but simply nodded. “I’ll leave you to dress, then. The boys have made food for you; they’ll be by with it soon.” She turned and left quickly. 

Sam let the blanket go and watched me carefully as I slowly swung my legs off the edge of the bed. I focused for a moment, willing my atrophied muscles to work. After two false starts, I sighed, cheeks burning in shame at being unable to do something as simple as standing up by myself. “Sam, can I get a hand, please?” 

Immediately, a warm arm slid around me, helping me stand. “Of course, doofus,” he said, using my pet name in an attempt to cheer me up. I appreciated it. 

He helped me dress in a simple white button up blouse and pants, both far too loose on my emaciated frame.

Standing there with my hands on his chest, out of breath from the small exertion of getting dressed, I remembered something. I frowned at my fingers splayed on his pecs.

“What’s the ma-?”

“They took my ring!” I said, anguish plain in my voice. With everything I had gone through, I had forgotten about it until now. My left hand looked incredibly bare without it. It hadn’t been fancy, a simple silver band with a swirling pattern etched into it, but it had come from Sam, and I felt its absence now that I wasn’t in survival mode. He might have conjured it with magic, but it was the one he had given me, and I had loved it. 

Sam snorted incredulously, pulling me tighter to his chest. “After all this, you’re worried about the ring? I’ll make you a hundred rings, Abby.”

I flushed a bit, feeling a little silly about being so upset over its loss given the circumstances. But still, it had been important to me, and I had lost it. I wrapped my arms around him, returning his hug for a moment.

“Maybe later. Everyone will be here soon,” I reminded Sam, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. He blushed, but grunted in agreement, letting go of my waist. 

I headed for the bed on my own, and was sitting back down on the edge of it when a knock came at the door. 

“We have food!” called Matthew’s cheery voice.

“Should be enough here that Abs can have some before Sam manages to inhale it all,” Noryn added cheekily. 

“One sec!” Sam called, watching me with concern from where he stood between the door and the bed. I took a moment to catch my breath, then gave him a smile.

“Better let them in before whatever they’ve made gets cold,” I told him, pulling my legs up onto the bed to sit cross legged. “Or Noryn and Matthew decide we’re a lost cause and eat our food themselves.”

He snorted, but nodded and went to the door, opening it for the others. Everyone crammed into the room, happily chattering and teasing one another as they brought in plates laden with pancakes, something that  _ almost  _ looked like bacon, and fruit. Sam sat beside me, his shoulder lightly touching mine. I leaned into him, happy for his comforting presence. 

Everyone talked amongst themselves for a bit as we all ate. I only managed to eat about a quarter of what they brought for me before my stomach rebelled at the thought of eating more. Going from the pitiful rations they had given me to keep me alive to proper food was going to take time, evidently. I held my plate out to Sam, and he glanced from me to the almost-full plate with concern. I shook my head with a smile and gestured for him to take it. He had apparently been running around like a crazy person trying to find me. He needed it more than I did. “I’ll have more later. If I eat that right now it'll just come back up.”

Erik swept in and took the plate from me. “Well Sam certainly doesn’t need to eat anymore. I think he’s beginning to get soft!”

I smiled at Sam’s indignant expression at his brother’s teasing. “Hey! If anyone is getting soft, it’s you, pretty boy!” he retaliated through a mouthful of pancake. 

After everyone else's laughter died down, I looked around at my friends. “So. Does anyone want to tell me what I missed?”

The mood sobered instantly, and I bit my lip, regretting speaking up. 

“Abigail,” James started. “How long do you think you were gone for?” 

My eyebrows knit in confusion at the question. “Sam said something about four days?”

Damien shook his head. “But how long did it  _ feel _ like you were gone for?”

I took a moment to think back, shuddering at the memory of that place. Sam’s arm moved comfortingly around me in silent support. I gave him a grateful smile. “It… felt like at least three weeks. There was no way for me to keep track of time though,” I finally answered, confusion furrowing my brow. 

The other incubi nodded, but Sam seemed just as confused as I was. “Someone wanna tell us what’s going on?” he asked, irritated. 

“Some of the Demon Lord’s dungeons have magical enchantments on them,” James answered. “That one seems to have had some kind of time distortion effect. For us, it was only four days, but for Abigail…” He trailed off, and I studied my hands to avoid looking at their expressions as I felt everyone’s eyes turn to me. 

I lifted my head, tilting my chin defiantly. I wouldn’t let myself feel small because of what happened to me. Especially while my friends were here. They might not think less of me, but their pity wouldn’t help anything. “What’s the plan? How are we getting home?”

Irene was the one who spoke up this time. “We agreed to help Diana depose the Demon Lord. She’s leading the rebel forces here.”

“And she’s done a really good job!” Matthew piped up. “They were going to have the final confrontation yesterday, but they wanted us to help out, and we had… other priorities.”

“Yes. They managed to push their plans back so we could focus on finding you,” Erik said. 

“They still want our help to finish our father off, in three days time," James finished. 

I couldn’t stop the shiver that traveled my spine at the mention of their father. Sam wrapped an arm around me, sensing my discomfort. “I’d really appreciate it if you killed him,” I said mildly, leaning in to Sam’s side. I glanced at Damien and tried to empty my mind of all thoughts of what their father had done to me. I wasn’t sure if I wanted that particular cat out of the bag yet. 

But it seemed I didn’t have much of a choice. Rather than looking at me, Damien was looking at Sam, his gaze sharp and angry. 

“He did what?” he asked, his calm tone covering the anger I could see in every line of his body.

“Damien?” Twila asked in concern, putting her hand on his arm. “What’s wrong?”

Damien brought a hand up to cover his wife’s hand, but he didn’t look away from Sam, waiting for an answer. 

Everyone else was looking at Sam, too. I sighed and closed my eyes, leaning in to him a bit more. 

“Sorry,” he muttered, giving my side a gentle squeeze. “I tried to keep it under wraps, but-”

“It’s okay Sam, they would have found out eventually,” I said, giving his leg a pat. 

“What’s going on?” Iridessa asked, looking between Damien, Sam, and me. 

I took a deep breath, looking down at my hands in my lap rather than meeting anyone’s eyes. “The Demon Lord… paid me a personal visit while I was there. A few times.” 

I felt Sam’s muscles tense in surprise and anger. "A few times?" he asked softly, trying to keep the anger out of his voice. In response I just nuzzled my head against his shoulder, closing my eyes against the flood of memories that came with the admission. 

The room had gone deadly silent at my words, the only sound came from the fire crackling merrily in the fireplace behind Sam and I. I managed to open my eyes a bit, enough to see Damien looking at me in horror as he watched my memories play out inside my head. 

"So yeah. Kill him for me. Please," I spoke up again, voice slightly rough from the panic attack I was trying to suppress.

"Understood," James said, voice a low rumble.

"We'll make sure he dies painfully," Matthew agreed, eyes flashing briefly gold in anger. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> badda bing badda boom. some fluff, some bonding, got Diana in there at the end, there you go. i've been losing my motivation to write a bit. not this story specifically, just in general. been trying to shake out of the funk, been doing alright. just try not to get too mad if the next chapter is a bit slow in coming

While we were talking, someone had run a bath for me in a nearby bathroom. I suspected Diana. 

The others had taken some time to explain a bit more about what happened at our wedding that I hadn’t made it to, the rebellion, and Diana. What had happened to her family was terrible. I felt a sort of strange kinship with her; both of us had suffered at the hands of the Demon Lord. I resolved to track her down and talk to her at some point.

But first, bath. 

Sam helped me out of my clothes first. Even after eating I didn't have the energy, physical or sexual, to be turned on at the prospect of bathing with him. But still, I appreciated the way his hands lingered on my hips, and the way he looked at me as he carefully lowered me into the massive tub that was sunk into the ground. It felt nice, knowing that he still found me desirable, even if I wasn’t able to do anything about it.

I missed being sure of myself. I was a farm girl, born and raised, and not being able to do something as simple as dress or undress myself was a tough pill to swallow. I was used to being able to haul hay, pull myself up onto the roof without help, control an unruly horse, toss hay bales out of a truck and haul them into a loft. Now moving myself was a challenge, and that wore at me almost as much as the psychological damage.

The water was incredibly warm, and I was able to take a few steps across the huge bath (more like a large hot tub in size), enjoying the sensation of moving under my own power as the water helped support me.

Sam quickly stripped and slid into the tub with me, taking a seat on one of the submerged benches. He watched me wander through the water, something unidentifiable in his eyes.

Eventually I walked over to him and went to sit beside him on the bench. I yelped in surprise as he caught me by the waist and carefully pulled me into his lap, my back to his chest. 

"Here," he said, pulling my hair gently so it was over my shoulder and off my back. "You like lavender, right? This stuff smells kinda like lavender."

I glanced over my shoulder and watched him pour some sort of blue liquid out of a nearby bottle and onto a washcloth. It did indeed smell a bit like lavender, if slightly more fruity. I practically purred as Sam went to work, carefully washing my back with gentle, competent hands. Once he was done with my back, he helped me lower my head back into the water, fingers massaging my scalp as he worked the soap through the tangled mess my hair had become. His strong hands gently worked the knots out, making sure not to yank on my scalp. 

I had often been amazed at how gentle he was with me. He’d never given me a bruise I hadn’t asked him for. I’d seen him cave in a devil’s skull, tear through thick fabric like it was tissue paper, and on one memorable occasion, split a boulder in two. But I’d never felt anything but safe when he held me. Who was I to warrant such tenderness from anyone, let alone someone who had been an heir to the throne of a demon world? 

I had kept my eyes closed through most of the hair detangling process, but I opened them as I sat back up, standing a bit to readjust and sit back on his lap, facing him this time. 

“I love you, you know that, right?” I asked, putting my hands on his shoulders. The way his gaze softened from confusion at my repositioning into love made my face heat, and I averted my eyes as his hands moved to hold my hips beneath the water. “I don’t know what you’ve been doing about your… hunger while I’ve been gone.” I bit my lip. I hadn’t realized it had bothered me until I said it out loud. He was an incubus. He needed sexual energy to survive. I had been gone for four days for him, and he had been expending a lot of energy looking for me. He must have had to do  _ something. _ “I’m not ready to have sex just yet. I need… more time for that. But I’m starting to feel better, so I’ll probably be able to start giving you energy soo-” 

Sam cut me off by putting a finger over my lips. “You don’t have to worry about me, doofus. I’ve been feeding on rage since I got here.” I tilted my head at him in confusion, but his finger was still resting gently on my lips. “We’re all half rage-demon,” he said, reading the question in my eyes. “Out of all of us, I got the most of those traits. Before we made it to the human world, I fed almost exclusively on rage.” He shrugged, and moved his finger from my lips to cup my cheek. I reflexively nuzzled into his hand, watching him as relief flooded my body. I wouldn’t have blamed him for going to someone else to feed his incubus hunger, it was a part of who he was, and he needed it to survive. But it had still been an upsetting thought.

I knew they all had different mothers. Their father being a rage demon made a lot of sense. I had assumed he hadn’t enthralled me as a choice, but no, that must be a power he didn’t have as a rage demon.

That didn’t make it any better, obviously. But it did explain it. 

“I definitely prefer your energy,” he continued with a small smirk, pulling my thoughts back to the present. I felt my face heat, but his hand on my face wouldn’t let me look away to try and hide the embarrassment. “But you need your energy to get better more than I need it.” He leaned in and kissed my forehead, drawing a hum of contentment from me. “So don’t worry about me, Abby. You worry about yourself, alright?”

I lifted my hand and held it over his on my face before turning slightly and pressing a kiss to his palm. “Yes sir!” I said with amusement in my voice, watching him turn red. 

We stayed in the water a while longer, Sam carefully washing me with gentle, almost reverent hands. I tried to return the favour, but he chuckled and kissed my forehead. “I don’t think so, doofus. You’re about to fall over. Time to get you back to bed.”

As he spoke, I suddenly realized he was right. I was so tired I was starting to get light headed. Nonetheless, I pouted at him as he got out of the bath. I sighed in appreciation at the sight of him, resting my elbows on the edge of the sunken tub as I watched the play of his muscles. He glanced over his shoulder at me, and smirked when he saw how I was looking at him, eyes flashing momentarily gold.

“Oh, you’re bad,” he said with a chuckle. “But you need rest, so none of that.”

I sighed, but nodded, feeling my eyelids droop as another wave of exhaustion hit me. 

He grabbed a fluffy towel and bundled me out of the water, wrapping me in it as he dried me off before helping me back into my clothes. In the blink of an eye, he had his own clothes back on, then he swept me off my feet. 

“Hey,” I said in a weak protest. “I can still walk.” The words were swallowed by a yawn.

Sam pressed another kiss to my forehead. “Of course you can,” he said indulgently. “But I’d feel better if you let me carry you.” 

I pretended to think for a moment before nodding in what I hoped was an imperious fashion. “Very well. But no super speed. My constitution is delicate,” I said as theatrically as I could manage, wrapping my arms around his neck.

He chuckled and started walking. “As you command, my lady.”

“I  _ knew  _ you were capable of being a gentleman!” Erik’s voice broke through our private bubble, and Sam whipped his head around as he growled at his brother. 

“Shut up!” he snapped. 

I smiled and waved a hand at Erik. “Leave him alone, Erik. He’s always been a perfect gentleman.”

I arched an eyebrow as Sam looked down at me narrowly. 

Erik snorted, continuing on his way to whatever he was doing. “The day Sam is a gentleman is the day I eat my vest.”

Sam snarled at him again, taking a step towards his brother before pausing as I yawned once more. “This isn’t over, Erik!” he promised, glaring at his brother. 

Already turning into a different room, Erik waved dismissively over his shoulder. “Whatever you say, Sam.” 

I felt another growl rumble in his chest, and gave his shoulder a comforting pat. “Just ignore him,” I advised. “You could take him out with an arm tied behind your back.”

He sighed and continued carrying me to the room we shared. “I mean yeah, obviously,” he muttered. 

My eyelids slid shut, and I was asleep before Sam tucked me into bed.

~~~

This time, when I woke up, Sam had stayed awake. My head was in his lap, and he was idly combing his fingers through my hair, lost in thought as he stared unseeingly straight ahead at the wall opposite the bed. 

I watched him for a moment, enjoying the feeling of his fingers in my hair. The sight of his strong jawline, his piercing green eyes, his scruffy brown hair, everything about him, filled me with a comfortable glow. I was safe.

My stomach rumbling loudly interrupted my thoughts and called Sam’s attention to the fact that I was awake. 

He smiled down at me, arching an eyebrow. “How long have you been up for?” 

I squinched my nose, narrowing my eyes as I stuck out my tongue at him. “Not long enough. You’re cute when you’re thinking.” 

I grinned as he blushed, reaching up to cup his cheek for a moment. I felt a lot better now. Food, a bath, and a nap had helped me a lot. As Sam nuzzled into my hand, I suddenly realized how much I missed being truly close with him. I still wasn’t ready to have sex. The ghosts of the Demon Lord’s hands were still too strong on my skin. I might not be ready to have sex again until he was dead and in the ground, but there were other things that I  _ did _ feel ready for.

Pulling my hand away from his face, I managed to sit up under my own power. Sam was looking at me in confusion, but he seemed to sense that this was something I wanted to do on my own. Shifting so I was kneeling on the soft bed, I bit my lip in concentration as I turned and moved back towards him, straddling his lap on my knees, facing him. My breathing was a bit heavier than it should have been, but I wasn’t panting like I had been before when I first got dressed. I grinned triumphantly at him, my hands resting on his bare chest. 

“Ha! I can still do some things!” I crowed. Sam smiled at me, puzzlement still written on his face even as his hands moved to rest on my hips. 

“What’s this about?” he asked. 

I leaned closer to him, both hands cupping the sides of his face. “I’m feeling better,” I said, my voice a low purr. “And I missed you.” He let out a surprised breath as I pressed my lips to his, but his hands quickly moved up my back to pull me closer to him as he returned my kiss with interest. 

I caught his bottom lip gently between my teeth, asking him to deepen our kiss. He readily acquiesced, his tongue running along my lip before venturing into my mouth. I sighed happily into him, melting onto his chest for a moment before pulling back slightly, panting a little. “You can take some of my energy,” I offered huskily, looking up at him through my eyelashes. "I missed being able to do that for you, too.”

He considered me for a moment, his own eyes half-lidded in arousal. “Are you sure?” he asked, concern in his voice. His hands stroked up and down my spine over the loose blouse I was wearing. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

I rolled my eyes a bit. “You’d never hurt me,” I told him, leaning in to give him a quick kiss on the cheek before leaning in a bit to whisper in his ear. “I trust you to take care of me. I’m yours, you’re mine. Forever.”

His eyes flashed amber and he crushed his lips suddenly to mine, making me gasp in surprise before the warm glow of his powers overtook me, turning the gasp into a moan. He was being slow and careful, taking a gentle trickle of energy from me so he could monitor how I was doing. I ran my hands up from his chest and tangled my fingers in his hair, relishing how he was making me feel. 

His own hands moved up my sides to unclasp the top few buttons of my blouse, the paths his fingers made up my body feeling like they were trailing sparks across my skin. I moaned into him again, tugging needily at his hair. Knowing what I wanted, his lips left mine with a groan to trail down my neck. 

“Aomaris,” I murmured happily before senseless moaning once again became the only noises I could make. 

He growled at the sound of his true name, nipping at the skin of my neck before running his tongue over the same spot to ease the pleasant stinging. I sighed happily, my head leaning back to give him better access to my neck. 

I don’t know exactly how long we went on like that. Not long enough.

“You’re gonna be the death of me, ya know that?” Sam murmured into the crook of my neck. The energy drain slowed to a stop, and both of us sat there for a moment, panting quietly. I wanted to keep going, but I didn’t think it was fair to him if I wasn’t able to go further. I could feel his own eagerness to continue pressed against my ass, restrained by both of our pants. 

I ran my fingers through his hair, nails scratching against his scalp, which was  _ definitely  _ unfair of me. He trembled eagerly beneath me at each touch. “How so?” I hummed innocently. 

He nuzzled his nose against the side of my neck, hands tightening on my back to try and pull me closer than I already was. Which, had he succeeded, would have been a feat of immense proportions. I would have had to notify molecular physicists. “You’ve been back from going through… what happened to you… for only a day, and instead of resting, you’re tormenting me.” He took a deep, steadying breath before pressing a slow kiss to my shoulder. “I love you.”

I stilled, wondering how even after two years, hearing him tell me he loved me still made my heart stop as though it was the first time. Sam leaned back a bit to look at me, worried by my sudden stillness. I smiled at him and cupped his face in both hands. “I don’t deserve you, Sammy,” I said, suddenly sad. 

Concern deepening, Sam leaned into one of my hands. “What are you talking about?” he asked in a tone that indicated he thought I was being ridiculous. 

I shook my head, trying to get rid of the lump that was suddenly in my throat. “I couldn’t defend myself,” I eventually replied, a few stray tears managing to work their way from my eyes. “After all my big talk about my krav maga train- I fought back for as long as I could, but I wasn’t strong enough, and I let the Demon Lord-”

Gaze hardening, Sam covered the hand he was leaning into with one of his own. “No.”

I looked at him in surprise, not expecting the harsh tone. His grip on me was still gentle, but he was looking seriously at me with a frown. “But I-”

“No, Abby,” he cut me off. “You didn’t let anyone do  _ shit _ . Nothing that happened to you was your fault. Nothing.” There was fire in his eyes as he looked at me, trying to make me believe his words. I wanted to look away, try to hide the shame I knew was written on my face, but something in his eyes made me keep looking at him.

He reached up with his other hand and softly brushed away my tears, once more reminding me how strong he was, and how gentle his hands were whenever he held me. It never felt like he was afraid of breaking me. Even now, as injured as I was, I knew he knew I was tougher than that. It was more like a master craftsman holding the piece he had been working on for years. Careful, gentle, almost reverent. Like what they held was too precious to be handled with anything but the utmost care. 

His brothers joked that I had tamed the monster. It wasn’t a joke I particularly appreciated. Sam was a lot of things, but he wasn’t a monster. Still, I felt incredibly lucky that the same hands that were capable of extreme destruction traced over my skin with such tender care.

“I love you, so much,” he continued, keeping his hand on my face. “You’re stronger than anyone I know.”

I hiccuped an incredulous noise at that. “Stronger than you?” I asked, meaning to tease him to try and lighten the mood. He kept looking at me with that serious expression. 

“Yes,” he replied simply. 

I stared at him for a moment, then closed my eyes and pushed my face against his hand. “I love you, too,” I said softly, leaning in to press my forehead to his.

He might have been the one draining my energy, but sitting there, surrounded by his touch, his scent, it felt like Sam was the one giving me strength. 

We only had a few moments of quiet before my stomach growled again.

“Oops,” I whispered, smiling slightly before opening my eyes and pulling back from him. He gave me a smile of his own and, before I could protest, scooped me up in his arms and stood up, heading for the door. 

“Hey!” I said when I found my voice. “I can walk!” 

“Nuh-uh,” Sam replied smugly. “Women I love get carried to the kitchen when I make them food.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “I’ll be sure to remember that when we get back to the human world.”

He just chuckled and pressed a quick kiss to my temple. 

~~~

I hummed happily as Sam helped me sit down in a chair in front of the fire in the war room. I reached up and caressed his cheek.

“Thank you, darling. Now, go see how your brothers’ training is going.”

“You sure?” he asked, nuzzling a little into my hand before glancing warily at Diana. 

The succubus was leaning over the massive table that took up most of the space in the room, for all intents and purposes looking like she was unaware of us. 

I nodded, pulling Sam’s face to mine for a quick kiss. “I’m sure. Maybe you can get a few punches in on them,” I suggested with a smile. 

He couldn’t stop the smirk that came to his lips at that, and pressed a quick kiss to my forehead. “Call me if you need me,” he said. I nodded and watched him head out. I breathed out a sigh as he left, curling myself up onto the chair, enjoying the warmth of the flames. 

“He attacked me when he and the boys first arrived.” Diana broke the silence, wry amusement colouring her voice. 

I looked at her in surprise. “I’m so sorry!”

She shook her head, crossing her arms across her chest as she moved from the table to stand beside me. “I can hardly blame him. We didn’t exactly part on the best of terms.” 

I snorted. “That’s putting it mildly. Still. I’m sorry.” 

She seemed so different from the last time I had seen her. Over the past two years I had thought a lot about Diana, how upset she had looked when she finally gave up chasing the boys and sank into her pentagram. 

After a lot of consideration, I had decided my anger towards her was misplaced. She had obviously been in a tough situation. Her kingdom in danger, her future in jeopardy. Her actions and desires had been at odds with mine, that was all. It didn’t make her a bad person, just someone put between a rock and a hard place. And her family had paid the price. I hadn’t known about that when I decided she wasn’t the villain I originally made her out to be. I couldn’t imagine how she felt, but my mom was a psychologist by trade, and I had always been drawn to try and help people any way I could. 

After a moment of silence, I reached up and put a hand on her elbow, and she looked at me in surprise. “How’re you holding up?” 

The surprise on her face grew. “I…” She frowned. “I don’t really know.”

“Yeah. I get that.” I looked back down at the fire, putting my hands in my lap. “The boys told me you’ve done a lot of good.”

She flushed in embarrassment. “I’ve been trying my best. Your fiance helped, destroying as many strongholds as he did trying to get to you.” 

Now  _ I  _ was blushing. “Yeah. I heard about that.” 

“He really loves you, you know.” 

I shot Diana a smile, cheeks still red. “Yeah,” I agreed. “I’m lucky like that. You know, when we first met, he wanted nothing to do with me.” 

She arched an eyebrow. “I find that hard to believe.”

“It’s true,” I laughed. “They showed up in the entryway of the mansion, bleeding all over everything. He took my first kiss with his powers to heal himself up a bit.”

“He used his powers?” Diana repeated, arched eyebrow arching further. “I didn’t know any of the boys had it in them. I doubt you just let  _ that _ go.”

“I was about ready to murder him,” I agreed. “He all but called me stupid when I asked what had happened and why they were there, and then, when I offered to let them stay with me, he was the only one against the idea.” I smiled a little at the memory. 

“Really?” Diana asked with a chuckle. 

I nodded. “Yeah. Even when he agreed to stay, he wanted to leave as soon as they dealt with the devils that had been chasing them.”

She smiled down at me, looking genuinely happy for me. “And now he’s marrying you.”

“And now he’s marrying me,” I agreed. 

We stayed like that in silence for a while, staring at the fire before I broke the silence again. “I’m so sorry about your family.”

Her face twisted in grief, and I regretted bringing it up.

“It’s not your fault. The Demon Lord is going to answer with his life in two days, anyway.” 

I nodded. “Yes. I’m still sorry though. No one should have to go through something like that.”

She looked at me in surprise. “Yes, well, you shouldn’t have either,” she awkwardly replied after a moment.

“Have… you talked about it to anyone?” I asked hesitantly, steering the conversation back to her. 

Diana turned her attention to the fire. I thought I saw tears building in her eyes, but that may have just been a trick of the light. “No.”

I nodded, also looking to the fire. “If you ever want to, I’d be more than happy to listen.”

“Maybe after all this is over,” she replied after a moment of silence. I nodded.

“So what’s the deal with your guard, the one with the spear? I think the boys said his name is Saero?” 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a longer chapter for you guys this time. i was editing and i realized i meant to put one of the sections in here in an earlier place, buuuut i didn't so now it's like this. it doesn't mess the timeline up or anything, it just doesn't flow as well as i would like. that being said, hope y'all like it!

“You can do better than that, Sam!” Erik laughed from the sidelines of the training room. 

Sam shot him a glare, and paid for it immediately, barely managing to parry the next stab of Saero’s spear. 

“Losing focus is a good way to end up dead!” the other demon snapped, bringing the butt of his spear down on the ground with a clank. “We’re done for the day,” he said dismissively. 

Saero turned on his heel and left the room, the brothers turning to one another or their wives to talk or head out to wherever they went when they were done training. 

Grumbling under his breath, Sam headed for the edge of the room to put his shirt back on, cuffing the side of Erik’s head as he passed. His older brother laughed. 

“Don’t be such a sore loser, brother!”

“Piss off,” Sam snapped back, grabbing his shirt. He was too worn out from training to really go after Erik, but irritation still rumbled in his chest. 

Erik and Irene left the room, leaving Sam alone with Matthew and Noryn. The other two were talking in low voices in the corner, shooting Sam weird looks. 

“Got something you wanna say?” he asked, aggravated as he put his shirt and mangled letterman jacket back on. 

Matthew made a face, like this was a conversation he wanted to avoid, but Noryn nudged him, and he stepped forward. “When did you know Abigail was the one for you?”

Sam blinked at his brother. “Where the hell is this coming from?”

Noryn took her husband’s hand, interlacing their fingers as she stepped beside him. “I was curious. She’s known you all longer than the rest of us girls, and she told us when  _ she  _ fell for you.” Noryn shrugged. “I was curious,” she repeated. 

Sam considered them for a moment before shaking his head and starting to head for the door. 

“C’mon, Sam!” Matthew interjected, stepping between Sam and his way out. 

“Why should I tell you?!” he snapped. “I haven’t even told  _ her _ when it was.”

“Consider this practice then!” Noryn said, irritatingly cheerful. “She wants to know, she just doesn’t want to push. So  _ we’re  _ pushing.”

Sam considered just shoving past them, but the set of Matthew’s jaw told him his younger brother wasn’t gonna give up that easily. He gave a deep sigh. It was a testament to how much he had been thrown off his game that he was even considering telling them anything.

Crossing his arms, he glared at them. “You’re lucky I’m too tired to beat the shit out of you, runt.” Matthew’s eyes lit with anger at the name, but he didn’t say anything. Sam sighed again, turning his glare on the far wall of the training room, absently reaching up to touch the dog tag at his neck. Maybe he could burn a hole in one of the training dummies with just his frustration. “If either of you says a word of this to any of the others-”

Noryn waved a dismissive hand. “You’ll beat the hell out of us, we get it.”

Sam glared at her for a moment. 

“Remember when we were stuffing our faces like idiots?” he eventually started, turning his gaze to Matthew. 

The younger incubi’s brow knit with sudden confusion. “Our first night at the mansion? Yeah.”

Sam felt his face heating a bit, and he rubbed the back of his neck. “It was when I heard her laughing at us.”

Matthew looked at him incredulously for a moment before bursting into laughter.

“That’s so sappy Sam!” he cackled. Noryn was trying her best to suppress her own mirth, but wasn’t doing a great job. 

“Shut the fuck up Matthew!” Sam snapped, forgetting his exhaustion as he took a swipe at him.

The younger incubus turned and bolted, pulling his wife behind him. “Better go see if Abigail is done talking to Diana!” he yelled over his shoulder, still laughing. 

“I think it’s really sweet!” Noryn added, grinning from ear to ear. 

Sam snarled, watching them disappear around the corner. His hands twitched, wanting to follow them. But something in the back of his mind was clamouring to go check on Abby.

Despite everything that had happened, he trusted Diana. He and Abigail had talked about it a bit over the intervening years, and while he might never have it in himself to like the succubus, he agreed with his fiancee that she had been doing what she had to to try and save her kingdom. But he had been training for a long time, longer than he had been planning on, and he missed her. 

With a final snarl, he turned towards the war room, raking his fingers through his hair and taking a few deep breaths to try and calm down. 

~~~

Sam leaned against a bookshelf in the library, watching Abigail as she talked to Noryn, Twila, and Fae, their laughter occasionally cutting through the air. But not Abby. She smiled at whatever joke Fae had made, but it didn’t reach her gorgeous steel grey eyes. God, he missed the sound of her laugh.

“She just needs time,” Damien said, appearing at his side. 

Sam yelped in surprise, twitching away from his brother instinctively but only succeeding in slamming his shoulder painfully into the sturdy bookcase. “Get out of my head,” he growled. 

Damien just smiled at his older brother. “I didn’t need to read your mind to know what you were thinking,” he replied serenely. 

Sam grunted in annoyance, resuming his previous position, watching Abby.

“She’s been through a lot,” Damien continued after a moment. “But she’s a strong woman.”

“You don’t need to tell me twice,” Sam said, gaze softening as he watched his love nibble a piece of bread Fae had brought to share. “Damien,” he broke the silence that had fallen over them after a moment. “What really happened when she was down there? She’s tried to tell me some of it, but she keeps having these… panic attacks.” He looked down at his hands, clenching them into fists, as though he could fight the fear that had taken root in her mind. 

Damien watched him for a moment before looking back to the women, biting his lip. “I don’t think it’s my place to-”

“Don’t give me that bullshit, Damien!” Sam snapped. He kept his voice low so he wouldn’t disturb the others. “I know you don’t go rooting around in people’s heads on purpose, but if anyone other than her knows what she went through, it’s you.”

Damien just shook his head, only slightly leaning away from his brother. “You don’t want to know.”

“Fuck you! I’m asking, so of course I want to-”

Damien’s cobalt eyes snapped to meet Sam’s green ones, anger he wasn’t used to seeing clear in his youngest brother’s steady gaze. “I’m telling you, you don’t want to know, Sam.”

Sam glared at him for a moment, lip curling in a snarl as though he was about to push the issue, but he just deflated. All the anger ran out of him in a rush, leaving only fear and shame behind. “How am I supposed to live with myself, Damien?”

Damien blinked in surprise at his sudden mood shift, and opened his mouth to respond only to be cut off by Sam continuing, looking despondently at the wall across from them. 

“He had his filthy, bastardous, bloody hands all over her. I let that happen. I couldn’t protect her.” The thoughts Damien was getting off him were nothing but a tangle of guilt, fear, and pure, unadulterated self-loathing. 

“She says she doesn’t blame me, but how could she not?” Sam ran his hand through his hair, causing it to become more unruly than it usually was. Tears were starting to build in the corners of his eyes. “They  _ tortured  _ her Damien. For almost a month.” Anger started bubbling up through the self-hatred, and Damien took an unconscious step back as Sam glared at him. The tears had started to track down his face. “I  _ failed _ her. And I don’t know how I’m supposed to live with that.”

Sam angrily wiped the tears from his face with the back of his hand, glad that none of the girls or Fae had noticed his outburst. Damien was temporarily stunned into silence, not expecting that from his brother. 

“Well.” He put a hand on Sam’s shoulder. “For one, she doesn’t blame you in any way. She blames herself.” Sam opened his mouth to object, but Damien kept going. “Obviously that is not right or true, but it’s how she feels. You can either sit here in your own misery, and self hatred and she can try and put herself back together alone. She won’t blame you. Or, you can realize that you can’t change the past, you did everything you could, and you can help her rebuild herself.” Sam clenched his jaw and looked away from his brother, glaring at the wooden floor. “She would much rather you be with her, just for the record.” 

Sam snorted, but Damien could tell from his thoughts that he had gotten through to him, at least a little bit. “She wouldn’t want you to beat yourself up about it.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Sam said, but there was no heat behind his words. He stood up a bit straighter and shot his brother a grateful glance before returning his attention to Abigail. 

Noryn said something funny, and as the others laughed in response, he watched a genuine smile grace Abby’s face, a little bit of her previous sparkle visible in her eyes. His heart stuttered at the sight. Maybe she’d be okay. Maybe she would get past this. And he would help her. Not because he deserved her. He never had, if he was honest with himself. But because it was what  _ she _ deserved. It was the least he could do, after failing her.

~~~

I had no idea how long I had been there. The cold metal of the cage bars pressed unforgivingly against my bare back. My eyes flew open, and I was greeted with the sight of my hated cage, the stone hallway beyond the bars lit by flickering torchlight. 

Panic thundered in my chest. I was back here? No! The boys had saved me, Sam was taking care of me! I was  _ safe _ ! 

Had it been a dream? My mind giving me a place to retreat to so I had a reprieve, however brief, from the torture of this place? I felt myself quickly falling into despair, hugging my once again slashed and dirty legs to my chest. 

I only half-saw the red and black pentagram form on the hall wall across from my cage, my vision clouded by tears. I knew what that meant. I was shaking in terror as the Demon Lord stepped out of the wall, leering at me through the bars of my prison. 

“Miss me, human?” he asked in his grating voice. 

I wanted to scream, to shout and fight, but already my will was draining away, my throat closing in panic as my learned self-defense mechanisms kicked in. He might not be an incubus who was capable of using his powers to subdue me, but I knew how this went. He liked it when I fought back. He was too strong, his skin too thick for me to do any good, so all I could do was not give him the added satisfaction of struggling.

He smirked at me and undid my cage lock with a wave of his hand. 

Automatically, I reached to my neck, gripping the dog tag that hung there for comfort. It made me think of Sam. His emerald eyes, the gruff exterior he put up, only to completely melt beneath my hands. The safety I felt in his arms, the sound of his laughter, the messiness of his writing that he worked so hard on. The way his voice sounded when he called my name. 

As the Demon Lord was stepping into the cage with me something in my chest snapped, and I screamed. 

“Aomaris! Sam! Please!” 

The Demon Lord chuckled, stepping closer to me. “We’ve been through this, human. My pathetic son can’t hear you!”

There was a crack of breaking stone behind him, making him freeze before slowly turning. As he did, I saw what had made the noise. 

It was Sam. He was in his demon form, green and purple aura surrounding him like a dark mist. His fist had slammed into the wall, the stone caving beneath his fury. He was looking at his dad with rage in his eyes like I had never seen before. 

I was suddenly aware of the tears I was shedding, wiping them away with the back of my hand as I smiled at the man I had come to think of as my soulmate. He  _ had _ come for me! My heart soared in elation, but Sam wasn’t looking at me yet, his hate-filled gaze entirely on his father. 

“You wanna say that again, you piece of shit,” he said in a low, dangerous voice.

The Demon Lord opened his mouth to reply, but Sam didn’t let him, running him through with his red sword that suddenly materialized in his hand. The Demon Lord didn’t make a sound, just looked at his son in surprise before collapsing in a pile of flame and ash. 

Still breathing hard with rage, Sam finally turned his attention to me. I couldn’t help but quail beneath his anger-filled eyes, whimpering and hiding my face in my knees. 

I heard him take a few deep breaths, and felt the pulse of power as he dismissed his sword. I heard him take a few steps towards me, but he didn’t touch me. “Abby?” he said, voice reverberating through my chest. “You’re having a nightmare. Can you wake up for me?”

My head snapped up to look at him. He was crouched an arms length away from me, worry written all over his face. His frightening aura seemed to have vanished with his sword. I looked at him for a moment, taking in his green horns and painted skin, not comprehending what he was telling me. “A… nightmare?” I asked, my voice sounding pathetic to my own ears. 

Sam nodded. “A nightmare. Can I… can I touch you?” he asked, slowly holding a hand out towards me as though I was a frightened dog he was trying to sooth. 

I watched him for a moment. A nightmare. Now that I rolled the word around in my mind, there was a certain intangibility about the edges of the cage, a slight waver and flicker that I had attributed to the dancing torchlight. Now that I was paying closer attention, it was definitely more than that. I glanced at the ash pile that was the Demon Lord, shuddering at the thought of what had been about to happen. But it hadn’t. It hadn’t happened. Sam had come and he had saved me. He would always come and save me.

I looked back to Sam, patiently waiting for me. I loosened the death grip I had on my legs and reached for him, wanting to leap into his arms, but not having the strength. He closed the distance between us, not so quickly as to scare me, but with a haste that told me he wanted to hold me as much as I wanted to hold him.

An immediate sense of warmth came over me as he wrapped his arms around me, bundling me into his lap. He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “You can wake up now,” he murmured. I nodded, suddenly sure I could close my eyes here and wake up in the real world.

So I did.

Sam was looking down at me, eyes cooling from gold to green. His fingers, which had been resting on my temples, shifted to stroke my hair. He was in his incubus form here, too, big horns looming over me. 

I found it comforting.

I was breathing heavily, my heart racing as I struggled to ground myself in Sam's eyes, my head in his lap. I could tell I had been crying, cheeks damp with tears, but they seemed to have stopped now that I was conscious. 

"You're alright, I gotcha," he said. There was still some leftover anger ringing in his voice, but it was overruled by concern.

With a shaking hand, I reached up and touched his face, needing to reassure myself that it was the nightmare that had been the dream, not him. 

He pulled me more into his lap, cradling me against his chest, and started rocking me slowly back and forth as I tried to calm down. With one hand, he kept stroking my hair, and his eyes closed as he started humming under his breath.

It startled me enough to yank me out of the undertow of my thoughts that were trying to pull me further into my panic attack. Sam didn't much care for his singing voice. He thought he sounded bad. No matter how much I told him I liked his voice, that I loved to hear him sing, I knew he was still self-conscious of it. 

I recognized the opening bars of Fast Car, and watched Sam's face as he started singing softly. 

" _ You got a fast car, I want a ticket to anywhere. _ "

I couldn’t help the smile that flickered to my lips as he kept going, his eyes shut, still rocking me steadily. What had I done to deserve this wonderful man? I loved him so much, and he kept proving his love for me over and over. 

I took a few deep breaths, focusing on Sam’s hands on me, on the sound of his voice. I felt my trembling gradually subside, the panicked knot in my chest loosening. Slowly, I started humming along with the song. 

His eyes opened, looking at me with relief for a moment before leaning down and pressing our foreheads together. We finished the song together, letting the last note linger in the air for a peaceful beat. 

“I didn’t know you could do that, come into my dreams,” I said, half a question. He smiled at me, nuzzling against my forehead. 

“That’s the first time I’ve ever done it,” he admitted. “I didn’t know if it would even work, but I heard you call me so I had to try.”

I returned the smile. “Well, I’m happy it  _ did _ work. You’re my knight in shining armor.”

His eyes widened a bit, and I couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled from my chest at the sight. Sam moved back a little bit, surprise turning into happiness. “That’s the first time you’ve laughed since you’ve come back,” he said softly. 

My laughter immediately stopped as I looked at him in shock. Was it really…? Yes, I supposed it was. 

“You were paying enough attention to notice that I hadn’t  _ laughed? _ ”

He affectionately ruffled my hair slightly. “Of course I was. It’s one of my favourite sounds, doofus.” I felt my face heat at his words, and he gave a laugh of his own. 

I stared up at him for a moment, his happiness making me smile. “Come here,dork,” I said as his laughter subsided and he looked back down at me. I reached up and tangled my fingers in his hair, pulling his head down to kiss his lips. He gave a surprised breath against my mouth, but quickly rumbled an approving purr as he kissed me back. 

I was so  _ lucky _ to have someone as caring as him in my life. He knew me well enough after two years to cater to my needs, even in a situation as unexpected as this. I could only hope that I made him even remotely as happy as he made me. 

I moved my fingers in his hair, trying to pull him closer, and the side of my hand pushed against the base of one of his horns. Sam let out a deep, unexpected moan of pleasure into my mouth before cutting it off and pulling away from me with a look of horror, his face tomato red. 

Surprised myself, I let go, looking up at him in shock. Was… was me touching his horns that big of a turn-on? I suddenly realized how little I knew about how his demon form worked. I knew what it looked like, of course. Besides seeing it in the vision Damien had shown me so long ago, he occasionally wandered the mansion in it. But we had never had sex while he was in his true form. I hadn’t even considered it. Suddenly feeling an incredible wave of guilt wash over me, I pulled my hands to my chest, tears once again welling in my eyes. 

“I am so sorry, Sam.”

Still bright red, he frowned slightly, not quite meeting my eyes. “S’okay. You didn’t know.”

“Still,” I said. I could feel the results of my touch poking at my back. Once more I had managed to turn my fiance on without being able to help him further. Or… well. It wasn’t fair to him. Maybe I could make myself be ready to have sex with him. I was feeling better after all. And I wanted to. Having sex with Sam made everything feel right in a way that few things did.

As soon as I started seriously considering it, however, all I could see in my head was the Demon Lord looming over me in my cage. I whimpered and started shaking again, the tears that had been brimming in my eyes falling over the edge to track across my face. 

“Hey,” Sam said in surprise, embarrassment forgotten with my new tears. “It’s fine, Abby, really.” He wiped at my cheeks with the pad of his thumb. He resumed rocking me, panic visible in his eyes at my sudden outburst, unsure where this was coming from. In all honesty, some part of me realized this was an overreaction. Despite that, I couldn’t stop it.

I shook my head, struggling to get words out. “I didn’t- I know how much being a demon means to you, but in two years we never even- If I had just thought to- I should have known, and now I’ve gotten you all riled up and I can’t even- I want to Sam. I need you to know that I want to, I just- I keep- Every time I try to think about it I just see-” 

Sam pressed his fingers to my lips, stopping my babbling. “Abby, it’s fine. I’m happy to wait as long as you need me to,” he assured me. I just looked up at him, tears still flowing. He sighed and removed his fingers from my lips. “I love you, and I will  _ never _ make you do something you don’t want to, alright?” 

I bit my lip and nodded. “Sorry,” I repeated my apology, voice barely above a whisper.

He shook his head and kissed my forehead. “You’re doing that thing where you apologize when you haven’t done anything wrong again,” he told me. “Give me a sec, I’ll put my glamour back, and we can go back to sleep.”

His eyes began to shoot through with gold, and I felt energy gathering as he started to change back to his human form. Still in his lap, I reached up and put my hand on the side of his face. “Don’t.”

Surprised, his eyes went back to the emerald green I loved so much, and he looked at me with a furrowed brow. “Huh?”

I shook my head, stroking his cheek with my thumb. “If you want to, we can sleep with you like this,” I said. I used my other hand to wipe the remnants of my tears from my face before giving him a watery but genuine smile. “I don’t think I’ve ever told you, you’re incredibly handsome this way, too.”

He turned a bit pink at those words, but grinned at me.

“And you’re beautiful no matter what you look like,” he told me. I covered my face with my hands in an attempt to hide my blush. He just chuckled, pressing another kiss to my forehead before readjusting us in the bed, arranging it so I was lying pretty much on top of him. “Go to sleep, doofus,” he said affectionately, pulling the blanket over both of us and wrapping me in his arms. 

I nodded into his chest and closed my eyes.

“I love you, Sam.”

“I love you too.”

~~~

It was the day before the rebellion would go up against the Demon Lord and his armies. Physically, I was doing a lot better due both to Sam’s doting and the occasional burst of healing magic from Diana. I had started to put on weight, and I could walk on my own for short distances. Sam still stuck close to me, but I could tell he was happy with my progress. I was too, but there was something bothering me.

Sam had wanted to talk to his brothers about the plan for the following night. I could tell he still wanted to be involved in the battle, but I knew he’d stay with me at Lilith Castle like I had asked of him. I felt bad about that, keeping him from something he wanted to do. But if something happened to him… I don’t think I would be able to recover from that. 

Iridessa and Irene were keeping me company in the room Sam and I shared. I knew he had asked them to keep an eye on me in case something happened while he was gone, but I didn’t mind. Aside from enjoying their company, it was sweet that he was so worried about me. 

I took a deep breath, turning to Irene when there was a break in the conversation. “Irene. Can you tell me about the demon marriage ceremony?”

The demoness tilted her head curiously at me. “Why would you want to- ah yes. Erik mentioned Sam was wanting to marry you in the demon tradition,” she said, answering her own question. 

Iridessa looked between us with some confusion. “Demons marry differently from humans?”

Irene and I both nodded. “I don’t know all the details,” I admitted, setting aside the plate of fruit the other women had brought for me. “It’s something about binding our souls together? We were going to talk about it more after we were human-married, but…” I trailed off, gesturing at the purple sky visible through the window. 

Irene hummed contemplatively, leaning forward, elbows resting on her knees, fingers knit together as she considered me. “It’s not something I thought a human would be interested in,” she admitted. “It would mean that he could take your energy whenever he wanted, no matter how far away you were.” Iridessa’s brow knit, seeming concerned about the prospect and proving Irene’s point. “But,” the demoness continued. “You would also be able to sense each other's emotions no matter the distance, know when the other was hurt, and you would-” her gaze, which had shifted thoughtfully on the fire, snapped back to me in realization. “You would know where the other was at all times, no need to rely on true names.”

I pursed my lips and looked down at my hands.

“Oh, honey,” Iridessa spoke up. She moved from the chair she had been using to sit next to me on the bed, taking one of my hands in hers. “I know you’ve been through a lot, and genuinely feel for you, but…” she worried her lower lip between her teeth for a moment. 

I smiled at her and tilted my head, indicating I wanted her to continue. They were both my friends, and I valued their opinions. 

“I don’t think this is a decision you should make while you’re still recovering from what you’ve been through.”

“Why not?” Irene asked, genuinely curious. She looked at me with sympathy in her eyes for a moment before continuing. “She’s been through a traumatic event; had she been soul-bonded to Sam, she would have been saved much sooner.”

Iridessa’s lips pressed into a disapproving line. “That is true, but that’s… she would be giving up her privacy, her right to consent.” I opened my mouth to jump to Sam’s defense, but she cut me off with a brief hand squeeze. “I know, you trust Sam to never take advantage of that. But what happens if something changes? Or if either of you need space, for whatever reason. You’d always be aware of what the other was feeling and where they were.” 

Irene arched an eyebrow. “You’d know where they were coming from in an argument when they can’t properly articulate their point. You can communicate with one another over long distances without needing a phone. You’d know if they were okay when you’re forced to be apart for long stretches. Besides, I doubt it’s a constant thing. You likely have to focus on it to get the input.”

“But you’re not sure?”

Irene looked at Iridessa for a moment before inclining her head, conceding the point.

I nodded at both of their viewpoints, taking it all in. It wasn’t something I wanted to rush into. I wanted the decision to bond myself like that to Sam to come from a place of love, not a place of fear. And yet the remnants of the nightmare I had lived through clung to me like dark cobwebs. One of my moms was a psychologist by trade; I knew what PTSD was. I had many of the symptoms. It was something I would need to work on. Maybe there were demon therapists in the human world who I could talk to. But working through this would take a long time, if I even ever fully recovered. I didn’t want Sam to have to wait that long for me to come to a decision. 

“The actual ritual, does it hurt?” I asked Irene. 

Her eyes widened in surprise at the question. “Of course not dear! Well, I haven’t exactly gone through it myself, but from those who have have told me that it’s long, but very pleasant when all is said and done.”

I nodded again, and gave Iridessa’s hand a squeeze. “I’m gonna talk to Sam about it whenever he comes back. Don’t worry, I don’t plan on making a spur-of-the-moment decision about this,” I told her with a small smile. 

We settled into lighter conversation for the next hour or so until the sound of Sam’s loud approach could be heard. The girls gave me quick smiles, getting up from their seats as he opened the door, yelling over his shoulder. 

“Yeah? Try me again, runt, and see how it goes!”

I could hear Matthew’s laughter as he ran down the hall away from his older brother. Sam grumbled under his breath and rubbed the back of his neck in irritation.

“We’ll head out,” Iridessa said with a smile, patting Sam on the shoulder as she walked past him. Irene gave me a supportive smile as she followed, brushing past Sam and closing the door behind her. 

I smiled at him from where I sat on the bed. “How’s the plan looking?” 

“The battle is gonna start tomorrow evening,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck as he went to stand near the fire. “Diana is gonna go straight for the castle, and the armies are gonna clash in the field in front of it. Erik, Matthew, and Damien are watching the flank to make sure nothing gets through, and James is gonna meet Diana inside, just in case she needs help taking the old man out.” I watched him silently. I knew he still wanted to join the fight. I could see it in the way he carried himself, his tone of voice. I felt incredibly selfish, but I didn’t think my heart could stand seeing him walk away from me when I knew he was heading towards that kind of danger. I looked down at my hands and bit my lip. “We’re leaving in a few hours.”

That made me look back up at him, eyes wide in surprise. “What?”

He was smiling at me over his shoulder. “Diana is sending us back to the human world.” He came over and joined me on the bed, sitting across from me. “You’re doing a lot better, but there’s no reason to stick around.”

I frowned and looked down at my hands in my lap. “But what about the others? The girls and your brothers, Diana’s just gonna have to re-cast the portal to send them back when the fight is over. That’ll probably take a lot of her energy.”

Sam reached over and took both of my hands in his, gently pulling them towards him and waiting until I looked up and met his eyes. “Probably,” he agreed. “But me and Matthew will be using our energy to help for this one, and Erik and Damien will help with the other one.”

I frowned slightly. Just because I wanted him to stay out of danger didn’t mean I wanted to abandon our friends. Sam’s lips ghosting over my knuckles brought my attention back to him, surprised by the gesture.

“I just want you to be safe,” he told me, unknowingly echoing my own thoughts. His eyes locked with mine, full of love and concern. 

I gave him a smile, then sighed. “I know. I just… It doesn’t feel right to leave when all this is happening, you know?”

He nodded, but tugged gently on my hands. Knowing what he wanted, I shifted to my knees and moved to sit in his lap, legs wrapping around his hips so we were chest to chest. “I know, doofus. But I wanna get you outta here as soon as we can.” He pressed his lips to my forehead, leaving the other part of his statement unsaid.  _ So you can get better. _

Truly, physically, I was well on the road to recovery. Whatever was in demon shampoo had worked a miracle on my hair, and it was almost back to its usual Merida-style curly orange-red normal, even if it was still a bit thin, and I was gaining weight at a healthy rate. But my anxiety was almost constant, and I felt continually on edge. I hoped going home would make me feel better, but I didn’t want to leave our friends behind. 

I tossed and turned the problem in my mind, looking at it from every angle, and Sam patiently waited for me. His bright green eyes watched me softly, waiting for me to come to a conclusion, still holding both of my hands between us. 

Suddenly, my eyes widened as I remembered the conversation I had just been having with Iridessa and Irene. “Sam, what about the demon marriage?” 

He started, giving me a confused look. “What about it?” he asked slowly, unsure of where I was going. 

I shrugged and looked away from his piercing eyes. “I just- I don’t know. We’re already here and…” I trailed off and shrugged again. 

He bounced my hands until I looked back at him. “Why do you wanna go through with it right now?” he asked. 

Once again, I shrugged, biting my lip. “It’s important to you, and what’s important to you is important to me.” It wasn’t a lie. I did deeply value things that were important to him. But it definitely wasn’t the whole truth. 

“Alright, but why right now?” he prodded again. 

I felt panic start to tighten my chest as my thoughts started to go back towards the dungeon I had been trapped in. Iridessa was right, I was still too close to what had happened to make a proper decision based on my love for Sam rather than reactionary fear of what I had been through. “I can’t stop thinking about what would have been different if we had already gone through with it,” I finally admitted quietly. 

Sam smiled sadly at me and pulled me into a hug. I gripped his shirt and tried to stop the traitorous tears that had already begun leaking from my eyes while he started running his fingers along my back in a familiar, soothing pattern. “If it’s what you really want, we’ll do it. But I don’t want you to decide to go through with it because you’re scared. I mean, you have every right to be, I just-” He cut himself off.

I pulled back a bit to look up at him with a small smile. “I know what you’re trying to say, Sammy. It’s something I want to choose to do because I love you, not as some sort of security blanket. I love you so much, and I want to want it for the right reasons. I’m just…” I trailed off, biting my lip and looking back down at my hands clutching his shirt. Slowly, I unclenched my fingers and smoothed the fabric across his chest before looking back up at him. “We’ll talk about it more when we get back home,” I decided. He leaned down and kissed my forehead. 

“Of course, Abby.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shorter chapter this time. i'm pretty much at the end of what i've written ahead of time, so i'm writing AND editing now instead of just editing. BUT i'm also pretty close to the end of this particular story, so there's that! thank you to everyone for reading/commenting/leaving kudos, i honestly didn't think anyone would read it <3<3<3

“Ready?” Sam asked, giving my hand a squeeze. I nodded. I was beyond ready to go home. Maybe being in my own bed, my own house, would help me feel like this nightmare was truly over, and Sam and I could move on with our lives. 

Of course, it wouldn’t really be over until the Demon Lord was dead, would it?

I took a deep breath. “Ready.” 

We were standing in the war room, Diana, her advisors, the boys, and their wives arrayed behind us. 

“Just get through as quickly as you can,” Diana said, then she began murmuring in Latin. 

Sam and Matthew let out simultaneous grunts as she pulled energy from them to fuel her spell. I kept my eyes on Sam’s face, biting my lip in worry. He shot me a grin. 

“I’m good, just caught a little off guard, that’s all.” I squeezed his hand and returned his smile.

The air in front of us started to shimmer with cool blue light, the entryway of our mansion coming into focus as Diana continued chanting. 

“There, go!” she ordered, muscles tense. Her eyes met mine, and I smiled at her. 

“Thank you, Diana.”

She looked startled for a moment, then returned the smile. “You can thank me by living a good life. Now go! This isn’t easy to keep up.” 

I nodded and gave Sam’s hand another squeeze, then we stepped towards the portal.

The step that should have taken me and the one I loved home, however, did not go as planned. Red lightning crackled in front of us, and I was blasted back, my hand yanked out of Sam’s. I skidded across the floor, yelping in pain as I hit the ground. 

“She will never leave this world alive!” bellowed a horrifyingly familiar voice. Everything in my body tensed as I looked up, barely noticing Sam rushing to my side. I didn’t see the Demon Lord, but I couldn’t mistake that it was his voice that knifed through me.

Someone yelled something, but the blood was rushing in my ears too loudly for me to hear, and I was staring in terror at the black and red pentagram that covered the entrance to the portal we had been about to use. With a crack of energy both vanished into thin air. 

Sam said something to me, and I vaguely felt his hands on my shoulders, but I couldn’t focus. He was kneeling in front of me, but he started to vanish as my eyes unfocussed. All I could hear was the Demon Lord’s voice, thundering through my head to the exclusion of all else. Suddenly the hands on me turned cruel and calloused, and the war room around me started darkening and going cold, bar-like shadows falling over everything. 

I felt myself start shaking violently. “No, no. Nononononono.” 

I wanted to pull away from the hands gripping me, but my muscles refused to move and I was locked in place lying on the cold stone floor, waiting for the inevitable. Why was the Demon Lord just grasping my shoulders? Wouldn’t he just get it over with? I had been through enough, I didn’t need this new torment. My shaking got worse as my thoughts started spiraling, imagining what I knew was going to happen to me next. “Please,” I whispered. “No, nonononono.”

Slowly, I started becoming aware of someone calling a name. It wasn’t the Demon Lord’s voice, or one of the imps, but I didn’t know who they were calling for. 

“Abigail!” Whoever it was, he sounded desperate. Poor guy. Whoever Abigail was, she was lucky to have someone that worried about her. 

A second voice joined the first. “Sam, let her go, she thinks you’re him.”

I whimpered as the hands let me go, gently lowering me to the floor. I was suddenly sure I was completely alone. 

Alone. He said I’d always be alone. And of course he was right. No one would want to be around me once they knew what he’d done to me. What I’d let him do. Why hadn’t I fought back more? He was so much stronger than me, but I should have found a way. 

My muscles managed to unlock themselves enough for me to curl into the fetal position, wrapping my arms around my legs. The sensation of fabric against my palms caught me off guard. Pants? When had they given me those? 

“Abigail, please, you’re okay. You’re at Lilith Castle.”

The first voice returned, echoing like it was coming from the door at the end of the hall. Lilith Castle? That sounded familiar. But it was a cruel voice, to try and give me hope. Hope made you think you had a chance. Hope dragged you down with empty promises and drowned you in the ocean of reality. Hope hurt. 

“Abby, it’s me, it’s Sam.”

Sam? The voice was Sam? The metal chain holding the dog tag around my neck suddenly seemed warm, comforting. Yes. Sam. I loved him. If the voice was Sam, did that mean I was Abigail? Yes. It must. 

His voice was so desperate. He cared about me. That would change when he… but no, he already knew, didn’t he? He knew and he didn’t care and he still loved me. I wasn’t in the cage anymore. I was in Diana’s home, Lilith Castle. The Demon Lord couldn’t get to me. 

Slowly, I let myself unclench slightly from the curl I had locked myself in, opening my eyes just a sliver. The warm flicker of firelight greeted me, and the absolutely panicked face of the man I loved, about two feet away, half restrained by Damien. 

Reality came crashing back around me, and suddenly my ears started working again. 

“What can we do?”

“How am I supposed to know?!”

“Well we can’t just stand here and do nothing!”

“What was that?! Why couldn’t they leave?”

“It has to be a curse!”

“A curse?! Don’t be ridiculous!”

“How else do you explain what happened?”

“We need to help her!”

“How are we supposed to do that?!”

It was overwhelming. My eyes slammed shut again as I clawed ineffectively at my ears, trying to get the voices to stop for a second so I could think.

“Shut up!” someone bellowed.

Silence fell instantly, and I gratefully stopped tearing at my own head. 

I was breathing heavily, like I had run for kilometers, and I hurt like I had just been run over with a truck. I focussed on the in and out of air in my lungs for a moment, and that helped a lot. Slowly, I opened my eyes again. Sam was still looking at me with a terrified expression. I’d been the cause of that too often lately. 

Had it been him that told everyone to be quiet? Of course it had been.

I lay there, looking at him for a moment, centering myself in his emerald eyes. With a final deep breath, I unclenched my jaw, tasting blood. I had bit my tongue. Excellent. 

I was still shaking like a leaf, but I slowly extended a hand to Sam. He took it immediately, shrugging out of Damien’s grip to slide closer to me along the stone floor. The warmth of his hand in mine focussed me further, and I carefully started trying to relax my muscles enough to sit up. Once that was accomplished, I carefully looked around. My eyes skimmed over my concerned friends, but when they found no other threats in the room, my body finally started to believe I was alright. 

“Okay,” I said shakily, breaking the silence. “Not fun. Sam, please help me stand up.” 

His arm was around my back almost before I had finished speaking, taking most of my weight as I started to push myself up off the ground. “The adrenaline high is starting to wear off, and I’m either going to start sobbing, or pass out, so can someone please tell me what the hell that was before either of those happens?” I asked the room in general. My voice was a lot more level than I thought it would be. Huh. Good for me. 

“He put a curse on you,” Sergeant said bluntly. Several of the others shot him glares, but I appreciated his forthrightness. 

“A curse,” I repeated flatly. 

“It’s likely that he made it so you won’t be able to leave while you’re alive,” Rabbit said, her ears twitching in sympathy. 

I leaned more of my weight on Sam. I could feel the adrenaline crash coming. “Is there literally  _ any  _ other option?” I asked, looking around at the others. 

“The way to break a curse other than fulfilling its terms is to kill the one who placed it on you,” Diana answered. 

I nodded at her. “Good thing you’re all planning on killing him tomorrow then, huh? Sam. Can we please go to a bathroom? As fast as you can. There was, apparently, a third option, and that option is vomit.”

Without a word, Sam scooped me up and the world briefly became a blur. He placed me on my knees in front of a toilet, holding my hair back for me. And not a moment too soon. 

As awful as the flu I had last year had been, part of me was glad. Not only had it helped Sam learn how to care for a sick human, it had fully broken any illusions I may have had about being gross in front of him. Once you’ve seen someone you love throw up so hard it blasts out of their nose, there’s fewer barriers between you and them, you know?

“Okay. I think I’m done?” I said, keeping my head where it was, practically inside the toilet bowl. Sam handed me a wad of paper, still holding my hair back with the other hand. “Thanks.” 

I blew my nose a few times, and wiped my mouth off. Sam rubbed a comforting hand up and down my back, still silent. 

That was starting to concern me. 

He hadn’t said a word since he told everyone to shut up.

I glanced over my shoulder at him, expecting to see him so angry he couldn’t speak, eyes glowing, maybe even full incubus. 

Instead, he looked deeply sad.

I dropped the paper in the toilet and turned, standing up to look at him properly.

“What’s with the face?” I asked, stepping a bit closer and putting a hand on his chest.

He shook his head and pulled me into a hug. I was surprised, but returned the embrace, rubbing his back. 

“Hey,” I murmured. “What’s up?”

Sam pressed his face into my shoulder, trembling slightly in my arms. “Don’t worry about it,” he finally said, pulling away from me a bit to look down at me. 

I narrowed my eyes at him as he pushed some of my hair behind my ear, looking at me softly. He still looked sad. “I’m gonna get the taste of bile out of my mouth and then we’re gonna talk about what’s bugging you.”

His lips twitched in a slight smile, but it didn’t stick. 

I pat his cheek. “I need water and maybe some of Fae’s bread. Mouthwash? Is there demon Listerine?”

That got a real smile from him. “Meet you in our room?”

I nodded, rubbing my nose against the side of his neck for a moment before we separated. He went one way and I went the other. 

I sighed, sitting on the bench in front of the fireplace. It was crackling merrily despite the fact that I had never seen anyone add wood the whole time we’d been here. Demon realm weirdness, I supposed. 

I was sitting there, staring at the mantle thinking about what could be bothering Sam when a strange, rumbling bass voice filled my head. 

_ Child, you have done well. _

I froze, my heartbeat instantly spiking. I fought off a second encroaching panic attack, my hands gripping the armrest of the bench until my knuckles went white. 

The voice was different enough from the Demon Lord's that I was able to fight it off. Still, a strange voice echoing in my head wasn't doing my nerves any favours. 

Finally, I managed to speak. 

“Who are you? Where are you?”

The voice chuckled, not like it was laughing  _ at _ me precisely, but it was certainly amused.  _ I mean you no harm, child. I come to observe you, as I have for some time. _

I took a slow look around the room, but didn’t see anyone in the room. My instincts pulled my attention to the fire, however, and I saw a pair of slit-pupiled yellow eyes hovering in the flames.

That… was new. 

I blinked for a moment, confusion pushing aside the last cloying strands of my panic attack. “Talking fire is new. What do you want?”

The voice chuckled again.  _ I have been judging you and the one called Aomaris. _ It was deep, unmistakably male, but beyond that I couldn’t tell anything about him.

“Judging us, for what?” 

_ It is almost comical, _ the voice said. The baleful eyes vanished momentarily before winking back into view, almost like they had blinked.  _ I had all sorts of tests lined up. Plans laid decades ago to determine the worth of the one destined to take my power. And when he arrives, all are proven unnecessary. _

I heard Sam enter the room, but didn’t so much as turn my head. He took in a breath to say something, but I held up a hand then beckoned him over. 

“I still don’t know what you’re talking about.”

_ The Demon Lord, _ mused the voice, thoughtful. His eyes flicked to Sam as he joined me by the fire, but his gaze returned to me. I had stiffened at the mention of the Demon Lord, fear making my blood go cold.  _ You both know full well the extent of his evil. You, more than most. _ Was that sadness I heard in his voice?  _ He is a curse plaguing this land, and must be eliminated.  _

Sam put his hand on my shoulder, all of his attention focussed on the eyes in the fire. I was glad he could see them too, and hear the voice as well, if his reactions were anything to go by. I had been a bit worried that this was just another manifestation of my trauma. 

The voice had power to it. A lot of power. I could sense it in the confident, assured tone he spoke in, and in how he felt as his voice rang through my head. Power I couldn’t protect myself from. Not that that took a lot at the moment, but it was enough to scare me.

_ You have nothing to fear from me, child, _ the voice said, responding to my thoughts. Oh, I didn’t like that. 

“If you’re so upset with him, why not come deal with the Demon L-” I practically choked on his name. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, doing my best to crush the rising tide of panic building again in my chest. Sam’s hand tightened on my shoulder, but he didn’t say anything, just let me work through it. That helped. “Why don’t you deal with him yourself?”

_ I am deep below, in the dark where no light but that granted by fire can reach me. My power holds together the very earth; I cannot move.  _

“Dragon,” Sam murmured. I tore my gaze from the fire to stare at him for a moment. He had told me dragons were real, but somehow I didn’t think I would ever meet one. 

_ Very good, Aomaris. _ The eyes turned to Sam, and I could tell the dragon was evaluating him.

“It’s Sam,” he snapped. 

There was a beat of silence, then the dragon laughed.  _ Very interesting indeed. Sam. How novel. You choose your human name. Very well, Sam. You and your human have proven yourselves strong beyond what I could have hoped. There were to be other tests, however, your human’s experiences and your response to her vanishing have been suitable replacements.  _

I was looking at the dragon, but I felt the rumble of a snarl building in Sam’s chest. “Are you saying you’re responsible for what happened to her?”

_ Absolutely not, _ the dragon replied, sounding offended Sam would even suggest it.  _ Causing a helpless human that sort of suffering is far below my dignity.  _

“I’ll show you a helpless human,” I muttered to myself. Sam gave my shoulder a squeeze, shooting me an amused look as his anger slightly lessened. 

“Why the fuck are you testing me? Wanted to test me. Whatever,” Sam asked the dragon.

_ Do you wish to kill the Demon Lord? _

I could almost feel the wash of renewed anger that surged through Sam. He carefully removed his hand from my shoulder, clenching it in a fist at his side. “Yeah, I do.”

_ Then I will grant you my power, if you are worthy to take it.  _

I didn’t like the sound of that. I put a hand on Sam’s arm, knowing him well enough to know he would leap before looking. 

“What makes one worthy?”

The dragon’s eyes returned to me, and my head was filled with… something. It was a sense of strength, compassion, anger, instinct, and something else I couldn’t quite put my finger on. It wasn’t quantifiable; I had no way to gauge whether or not Sam had what the dragon was looking for. “Okay. And what happens if he’s not worthy?”

I felt Sam stiffen beneath the hand I had on his arm. It wasn’t that I didn’t think he was worthy. He was an incredible man. But I needed to know. He needed to know too. _ “No one should go into a situation without knowing all the potential outcomes.” _ Advice my biological father had given me when I was still in high school. I should probably follow it more often. I gave Sam’s arm a squeeze and shot him a smile. I had intended it to be comforting, but I think he saw the fear in my eyes. 

The dragon watched me for a moment, considering. Then my head was full of images of fire. 

The next thing I was aware of was Sam cradling me to his chest. 

“Okie dokie,” I said shakily, one hand gripping his jacket as tightly as I could manage. “I’m back.”

Sam’s hands kept stroking my hair, my arms, trying to comfort me. I finally managed to open my eyes. Sam’s jaw was set in anger, directed, I thought, at the dragon who had sent me spiraling. His eyes were just full of concern. I reached up and touched his cheek. “I’m alright. I’m alright,” I reassured. 

When I made to sit up, Sam set me down beside him, putting himself slightly between me and the fireplace with the bench at our backs. I turned my attention to the fire. I had no idea how long I’d been out of it, but the dragon was still there, watching me with interest. He wanted to see what I’d do. 

I set my jaw and lifted my chin. “You want… him gone as much as we do. You’d be willing to let Sam die,” my voice broke a bit on the word ‘die,’ “even though he’s apparently your best chance at dealing with him.”

_ It’s not a matter of being willing, child. _ There was genuine sorrow in the dragon’s voice.  _ If he is not worthy, my power will kill him, no matter what my desire is. _

I couldn’t help the tremor that ran through me, but I didn’t look away from him. He seemed to like that. 

_ If you decide you wish to accept the danger of my gift, I will be here. _ The image of a cave appeared in my mind. I trusted Sam to know where it was.  _ You are intriguing, for a human. _

And with that, the dragon’s eyes vanished from the fire.

There was a small clatter as something small and metal fell from the still-crackling flames. Before I thought better of it, I reached and picked it up. I froze, waiting for the blazing pain that should have come from picking up something metal that had been sitting in a fire, but it was cool against the palm of my hand. I looked at what I had grabbed, and was shocked to see my engagement ring. 

“He must’ve taken it from where they were holding you,” Sam said. He took the ring from my palm and slid it onto my finger, turning my hand over and kissing my knuckles. I gave him a smile, leaning over and kissing his cheek.

The anger and irritation that he had wrapped himself in while talking to the dragon had faded, leaving behind that tired sadness that worried me so much.

He helped me up, then let me make my own way to the bed, staying a foot or so behind me. Close enough to catch me if I fell but far enough to let me feel some independence. I appreciated that he knew me well enough to know that that’s what I needed right now. 

I took a seat on the edge of the bed, pulling my legs up under me and taking a deep breath to centre myself. 

“Okay. I will definitely want to talk about… all that. But first.” I made grabby hands at the water and bread that he had set on the table near the door when he first came in. The dragon had done a pretty good job of distracting me, but the taste of bile in my mouth was still sitting cloyingly on my tongue.

He smiled a smile that didn’t touch his eyes and brought them over to me before pulling a small bottle with pinkish liquid in it out of his pocket. “This’ll help, too. Probably the closest thing to ‘demon Listerine’ we have.” 

I had already shoved a chunk of bread in my mouth and couldn’t do much besides make a curious noise through my mouthful of carbs.

“Wuh ish it?” I managed, washing the bread down with some water. 

He shrugged. “To be honest, I have no clue. Diana said it would help though. You’re supposed to drink it all.” 

“Huh.” I hesitated a moment, then took the bottle and downed it. I’d been through so much, may as well add ‘drank weird demon juice’ to the list. It tasted pretty good, but not minty like part of me was waiting for. It was more sweet, kind of like a cool tea flavoured with honey and something else I couldn’t quite put my finger on. 

No matter what it was, it did the trick and washed away the last of the unpleasantness left in my mouth and throat. 

Sam had taken a seat beside me, leaning back so he was propped up on his arms. I leaned over, setting the empty bottle on the nightstand. After a moment I set the water beside it but I kept the bread in my hand as I leaned into him. His arm shifted a bit to wrap around my waist, pulling me closer. 

We sat like that for a while before I broke the silence. “What’s bothering you, darling?”

He took a deep breath before blowing out his cheeks and resting his cheek on the top of my head. I could tell he had been hoping I had forgotten about his earlier melancholy. “I just keep thinking that if we- if I had never met you, you’d never have gone through this. You’d be at the mansion, or back home with your parents, living your life.”

I pulled away from him, completely appalled. He thought I’d be better off for not having met him? Despite everything I had been through, the thought that it wouldn’t have happened if Sam hadn’t been in my life hadn’t even crossed my mind. Did I do something to make him feel that way? Did I say or do something to make him think I blamed him somehow? I dropped the bread and twisted myself, kneeling on the mattress to grab his face with both my hands. 

“Don’t ever say that!” I said, suddenly angry. The thought of him dying had sent me spiraling into a panic attack, but the thought of him leaving me because he blamed himself for what happened to me? That wouldn’t do at all. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, and  _ nothing _ could make me regret meeting you, Sam. Nothing. Do you understand that?”

He was looking at me in shock at my outburst before a small, sad smile formed on his lips. “And you’re the best thing that’s happened to me. But you’re hurt because of me, and I don’t know how to help you. You’d be okay if we had found a different house to pass out in.”

I shook my head furiously. “No Sam! I wouldn’t be!” I was shaking with some combination of fear and anger. “I wouldn’t be me without you. I love you more than words can express, and you’ve made my life so much better just by being there to hold me when I wake up in the morning. You’re scaring me.”

He reached up and cupped my hand on his face, leaning into it as he looked at me. 

“I love you,” he said, something raw in his voice. His eyes were full of nothing but love and longing. “And I want you to live the best life, even if that means I shouldn’t be-”

“Stop it!” I interrupted. “I’m glad you told me this was how you’re feeling, because now we can work at fixing it, but you’re… Sam I swear to… You don’t get to make decisions for me. I love you. I made that choice. You made the choice to love me, too. Don’t pull this ‘you’d be better off without me’ bullshit!” I leaned forward and pressed my forehead to his, closing my eyes. “Please. I can’t bear to think about what my life would look like without you. I don’t care what happens to me, as long as I get to hold you at the end of it. If you still want me. I know I’m broken. I’m trying to fix myself.” My voice cracked a bit. There was a cold pit of ice in my gut. I had been afraid, terrified, that he wouldn’t want me after what had happened. Was this him trying to soften the blow? One last kindness, pretend it was for my sake he was leaving me? I didn’t want to let him go. I wanted to cling to him until he changed his mind, until he decided I was worth rebuilding. But that wasn’t fair. If he couldn’t love me anymore, if the Demon Lord was right and I disgusted him, I shouldn’t keep him locked to me. He deserved better. I didn’t want to say the next part, but I forced myself to. 

“But if you can’t wait for that, if you don’t  _ want  _ to wait for me, I understand. You just need to tell me.” I kept my eyes closed, not wanting to see his expression. 

Sam took a deep, shuddering breath, his hands suddenly gripping desperately at the back of my shirt. “No, no, Abby. I love you so much, I want to help you through this.” There was a new note of determination in his voice.

“Good,” I said fiercely, a wave of relief so strong I almost fell over washing through me. I opened my eyes, saw him looking at me with grief and love in his emerald eyes. “Then we can work on this. I just need you to know that nothing that happened was your fault. I don’t blame you for  _ anything _ that has happened to me. Not Malix, not Diana, not this.”

I gasped as he leaned forward, kissing me deeply. He pulled me onto his lap, and I straddled him, my hands running through his hair as I returned his kiss with interest. 

“I don’t deserve you,” he said eventually, our kiss slowing down. 

I shook my head. “Gotta stop that, too. You deserve the world, darling.”

He laughed before kissing me again. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what is up my gamers. sorry for the delay, life's been kinda wack for me. there's only one (1) more chapter left for this story though, then I'll start publishing a n o t h e r one, if anyone wants to follow along with that. 
> 
> ANYWAY, thank you for your patience <3 <3 <3

A few minutes after we stopped making out, Sam was sitting on the bed with his back to the wall, and I was sitting between his legs, my back to his chest, playing idly with his hands in my lap. We’d been talking about our plans when we finally got back to the human world, when we’d both sort of… let the conversation die. It was a fairly comfortable silence, or it would have been if we both hadn’t been extraordinarily aware of what we weren’t saying. 

“We should talk about the dragon.” 

I sighed as Sam spoke, but nodded before leaning my head backwards to let it rest on the crook of his neck and traced my thumb around his engagement ring. “Yeah, we should,” I agreed. 

There was another beat of silence before Sam intertwined the fingers of both his hands with mine to stop me fidgeting with them. “I think I should go through with his trial.”

I closed my eyes and nuzzled into the side of his neck. “Do you think it’ll really make the difference in dealing with your father?”

I felt him nod. “Diana thinks they’ve got it all under control, but our old man is more powerful than I think she’s giving him credit for.” He pressed a kiss to the top of my head before continuing. “I don’t wanna upset you, Abby. I just hate being on the sidelines when I could be helping. Especially ‘cause I owe the bastard a lot of pain.” 

There was real anger in his voice. Hatred, even. I took in a shuddering breath, keeping my eyes closed. 

“I appreciate that, Sammy. I just… if something happened to you, I wouldn’t…” Sam gave my hands a squeeze. I took a deep breath and continued. “First, you’ve got to risk yourself to get this power, whatever it is, that the dragon is offering, then you’ve gotta risk yourself facing off with your father.” Sam disentangled our fingers and wrapped his arms comfortingly around me. That’s when I noticed I was trembling. “I don’t wanna make you feel like you can’t do things you want to,” I pressed on. “And I know you’re tough and strong and badass and I know you can take care of yourself, but you’re  _ mine _ . I just… I’m so scared that I’ll lose you.”

Sam kissed the top of my head again. “I know, Abby. I don’t want to do anything that would leave you alone. I just think that this is… bigger than us, you know?” 

I nodded into the side of his neck, trying to sort through my feelings. Sam stayed silent too, letting me think, occasionally nuzzling his cheek against my head comfortingly. 

I pulled back a bit and turned my head to look up at him, losing myself in his eyes for a moment. “Okay, Sammy. You’re right, this is bigger than us. But I need you to promise me you’ll do everything in your power to make sure you get back to me, okay?”

“Of course,” Sam murmured before closing the distance between us and kissing me. It was a soft kiss, tender and slow. One of his hands came up to cup my face, wiping my cheeks with his thumb and drawing attention to the fact that, once again, I was crying. 

I pulled away from him, angrily dragging the back of my hand against my face. 

“I’m tired of crying,” I said, glaring up at Sam. The anger at my constant tears was directed at myself, but glaring in general made me feel a little better. “So you better not give me more reason to.”

~~~

Apparently, while Sam and I had been talking, the dragon had spoken to Diana and told her everything. That felt a bit manipulative to me, but it meant that we didn’t have to go over it again with her. Small miracles, I supposed. 

It also meant that she knew where we had to go to find the dragon’s cave. 

Everyone knew what we were up to, but only Sam, Diana, and I had gone. Sam’s brothers had been upset, but it seemed like a good idea to keep our party as small as possible. 

We were standing in a meadow at the foot of what was only just big enough to be called a mountain, looking at a dark cave. It seemed… too mundane. It was just a cave stretching back and down until the daylight couldn’t push back the darkness anymore. 

A soft wind rustled through long grass, wafting the unfamiliar scent of flowers around us, and the sun setting to what I  _ assumed _ was the West in the purple sky warmed our skin. If I closed my eyes, I could almost imagine I was in the fields surrounding my childhood home.

Sam kissed my cheek, giving my hand a squeeze. “See you in a sec.”

He was doing his best to sound confident, but I knew him too well for it to completely work. Still, I appreciated the effort and nodded, giving him my best supportive smile. 

“You’ve got this.” I was impressed at how steady I managed to make my voice. 

Sam cupped my face in his hand for a moment, his thumb tracing across my cheekbone before kissing my forehead and turning to Diana. I was too busy staring at the cave to catch the look he gave her from more than the corner of my eye, but she nodded in understanding of whatever it was. 

Sam gave me one last smile, then turned and walked into the cave. I was glad he hadn’t insisted on some grandiose speech about how much he loved me, and what I should or shouldn’t do if he didn’t make it back. I probably wouldn’t have been able to let him go if he had. 

Still, watching him walk away from me was one of the most difficult things I had ever done. But it was what he wanted, what he needed to do. 

He disappeared into the darkness of the cave, and I was eventually forced to start breathing again as blackness began dancing at the edges of my vision. I tried really hard to not think about how it looked as though the mountain was swallowing him. 

“He’s tough,” Diana said after a few minutes of silence. She was standing next to me, watching the cave entrance with her arms crossed. “He’ll be fine.”

I grimaced. “I wish I had your conviction.” 

Diana shrugged. “He’s tough. I saw plenty of what he is capable of while he was searching for you.”

I ran a hand through my hair, trying to ignore the slight trembling that was starting in my legs. Sam had carried me here, but I’d been standing for about ten minutes now, and my muscles weren’t happy with me. “I know, I know. This is just a lot, you know? A dragon?”

“It does seem like improbable circumstances follow you around, dear,” Diana noted wryly. I snorted. 

“I wish they wouldn’t.”

“You wouldn’t have met the boys if your luck wasn’t so strange.”

I was going to reply when a roar cut through the air from the depths of the cave. It was bassy, rumbling in my chest, almost seeming to shake the ground with its power. 

My heart caught in my throat, and if I could have I would have ran into the cave after Sam. As it was, Diana had to catch me as I lost my balance, my weak muscles refusing to both hold me up and compensate for my surprise at the sudden noise. She supported me with an arm around my shoulders, her hip digging into my ribs as she held me up. 

Diana’s expression had gone grim as she and I watched the entrance to the cave, waiting for any sign that Sam was on his way out. 

After a tense moment, the sound of footsteps echoed from deep within the cave, heading towards us. Sam stepped into the light towards the mouth of the cave. My happiness at seeing him, apparently unharmed, was halted by shock at the sight of his eyes.

His irises were glowing strangely, but were still his usual emerald green. The whites of his eyes seemed to be trailing red and green swirling flames across his temples, and there was an aura of unmistakable power about him that was different from his usual presence. I was struck by the sudden fear that something the dragon had done had changed him, that this wasn’t  _ my _ Sammy anymore. 

“Sam?” I murmured. 

His face broke out in a grin, and that sudden fear was immediately put to rest. It was unmistakably my Sam. He closed the distance between us, taking me from Diana to pull me into a tight hug. “Told ya I’d be back in a sec.”

I thumped my forehead against his collarbone and took a deep breath, wrapping myself in his scent and focusing on the feel of his arms around me as he rubbed my back. He had made it. He was okay. 

“Thank god,” I muttered into his shirt. 

Suddenly, the dragon’s voice boomed from the cave behind Sam. “May your battle be won, Lord of Dragons.”

I glanced over Sam’s shoulder and watched as the outline of a large, horned, reptilian head pulled back into the darkness of the cave. 

I looked back to Sam, arching my eyebrows. “Lord of Dragons, huh?”

His eyes had gone back to normal, and that aura of power, while still there if I looked for it, had faded so it wasn’t so immediately noticeable.

He smirked down at me for a moment before leaning down and giving me a quick kiss. “Seems like it,” he said. 

“Not to distract from the heartwarming reunion, but we have planning to do,” Diana cut in. She had a satisfied smile on, and there was no heat to her words. With a wave, she conjured a teleportation circle and we sunk into it, reappearing in the war room. 

~~~

“Not a chance!” Sam snapped. I was sitting cross legged on the edge of the bed, blinking at Diana, trying to process what she had just said. 

“I don’t like it either!” the succubus snapped back. “But if we want to make sure the curse gets broken, she’s going to have to be there!”

Sam growled, standing next to me, his hands balling into fists. I reached over and put a hand on his arm, trying to ignore the trembling in my own fingers. I focussed on the fact that I wasn’t completely shutting down due to all the angry people in the room. It was the little victories that mattered.

“If that’s what I have to do, that’s what I’ll do,” I said quietly. 

“Abby, you don’t have to-” 

I shook my head. “Sam, I want to go home. I don’t want to go to leave after he’s dead and find out we did something wrong and I’m trapped.” 

“Exactly,” Diana said, relaxing minutely. 

I gave Sam a thin lipped smile. “This place is beautiful in a lot of ways. But I don’t think I could live here, not after everything that’s happened.”

He put his hand over mine on his arm for a moment before returning his attention to Diana. “How is she supposed to protect herself? This is going down tomorrow, it’s not like she has time to train. Besides, she’s still not up to one hundred percent.” 

I winced, glancing down at my still too-skinny torso, obscured by the blouse I was wearing. You could almost not count my ribs through my skin. Almost. 

“Saero is willing to teach her holy magic,” Diana replied. The demon in question stepped forward from where he was behind Diana. He was glaring at Sam, but spared a moment to shoot me a tight smile. “She has an incredible amount of magic; it shouldn’t take her long to master a few basic spells,” Diana continued 

Me having to be in the same room with the Demon Lord again was literally worst case scenario. But if it meant being sure that I would go home with Sam when it was all over then I would have to  _ make  _ myself be okay with it. 

I took my hand back from Sam’s arm, pulling both hands into my lap. “One small problem. I haven’t been able to use my magic since… everything happened. I can feel that it’s there, but I can’t do anything with it.”

I had never been overly proficient with my magic. I used it for little things mostly. To light my way when it was dark but didn’t have a flashlight. To make myself smell better when I finished working out. To bring things within reach from across the room. But since the boys had saved me, I had tried a few times to do… anything with my magic, with no luck. It coursed beneath my skin, a familiar force in my own body, like my heart beating or my lungs filling with air, but it refused to do anything helpful. 

Saero took a step towards me, and I saw Sam tense in the corner of my eye. Completely ignoring him, Saero spoke to me. “There may be something in your subconscious blocking your magic use. If you’ll allow me, I can help with that.”

He could help with a subconscious magic block? Could he also help with my panic attacks? 

Before I could open my mouth to ask, Saero held up a hand, seeming to read the question on my face. “If I could help with your recurring trauma, I would have already offered,” he said, an apologetic look in his eyes. 

I nodded, biting my lip. 

Saero turned to Sam. “Leave, brute,” he said, distaste in his voice. 

“Watch your tongue if you wanna keep it in your mouth,” Sam snapped. I frowned at Saero. True, I hadn’t interacted with him much, but I didn’t understand his apparent hatred of my fiance. 

“I either train her here or in the main hall, and I doubt she’s able to stand for as long as the training requires. You being present for the training would just be an unwelcome distraction.”

Sam was about to retort, but I reached out and grabbed his hand, giving it a squeeze. “Sammy, I’ll be okay. I want to learn to protect myself so you won’t worry as much.”

Still looking like he wanted to argue, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath before leaning down and kissing my temple. “Alright. I’ll be right outside if you need me,” he said. 

“Go hang out with James or something,” I told him, but he just smiled and gave me another quick kiss before heading for the door. Diana followed him out, giving me an encouraging smile as she followed him. 

As the door closed, Saero started to say something, but stopped when I held up my hand. 

“I don’t know what your problem is with Sam,” I started, turning to him with a glare. “And I don’t care. You will not call him names, and you will not treat him with that much disrespect. Am I understood?”

Saero was looking at me with a very shocked expression. I didn’t waver, keeping my glare on him until his shock turned into something that looked like respect, and he nodded. “Good,” I said, letting my hand drop. “Now, how are you going to unblock my magic?”

“We will have to go into your mind and find the block,” he replied, a slight white glow beginning to come off his hands. 

I felt my eyes widen a bit at the thought of someone rooting around in my head. I lived in there, and even  _ I _ didn’t want to know what went on in the back corners. 

I needed to do this. I needed my magic back. I couldn’t let Sam be so distracted by my own helplessness that he got hurt. 

Taking a deep breath, I nodded. 

Saero closed the distance between us, stopping in front of me. I closed my eyes as he put his hands on either side of my head. The glow around his hands intensified to the point that it almost hurt my eyes even through my closed eyelids. 

Suddenly I was in the living room of my home. Not the mansion; as long as I had lived there, it hadn’t really felt like home. This was the living room I had grown up in. I was standing in front of the fireplace, looking up at the colourful painting of a t-rex skull I had done in grade ten. There was something just a little… off about it. About the whole room. It wasn’t real for one. I had no clue how I knew that, but it wasn’t that Saero had transported me home. This was inside my head. It had to be. 

The wrongness of it wasn’t  _ because _ it was fake, though. It was like the house was holding its breath. I knew without looking that there wouldn’t be versions of my family running around the place. 

Slowly, I turned, taking in the comfy, overstuffed chair that was my usual place, shoved in the corner of the room, the leather couch, the arched doorway that led to the kitchen, and Saero standing next to the coffee table. 

He was looking at the cat-sized model skeleton that was displayed on the table’s glass top. It was a Scolosaurus, a model of the one on display at the Royal Tyrrell Museum in Drumheller.

“What is this?” he asked. 

“It’s a model of a dinosaur skeleton,” I told him, automatic responses kicking in. “Scolosaurus. An Ankylosaurid. The real thing was as big as a large pickup truck,” Right. He would totally know what a pickup truck was. “Why are we at my house?”

He was still studying the model. “These things, they are… out there?” He gestured vaguely at the window. 

“No, they’ve been extinct for millennia.”

He nodded approvingly. “Humans killed them off?”

I stared at him for a moment. “You know what, yes. Saero, why are we at my house?”

“Hmm? Oh, yes. We’re going to try and find what is blocking your magic.” He finally took his eyes off the model and took a look around the room. 

“Whatever is blocking my magic is in… my living room?”

“No, this is just a… construct. The mind is a very abstract place. My magic has made a framework for us to work off of so we can find what’s wrong. Your mind provided the set-dressing.”

I hummed noncommittally. This was all well above my paygrade. I glanced down at myself and was pleasantly surprised to see my body here was back to its muscled, curvy normal, and dressed in jeans and a band t-shirt. I’d be back in my weak physical body soon enough, but for now I was gonna enjoy having functional muscles. 

“Alright,” I said, looking back up at Saero. “Let’s find what’s wrong.”

“You’re going to stay here,” he replied. 

“Like hell I am,” I shot back, eyes lighting in anger. “I’m going to help put myself back together and there’s nothing your skinny goth ass is gonna be able to do about it.”

He smiled at me, and from his expression I could tell I’d passed some sort of test. 

“Very well then. Let’s go outside and have a look around.”

I snorted and threw my hands up in exasperation, but led the way to the door that went from the kitchen out to the backyard. 

I hadn’t really noticed when we were inside, hadn’t looked out the windows, but the sky was the same oppressive purple that it was in the abyssal plain. It was clearly daytime, but there was no sign of a sun. I frowned up at the purple expanse. 

“I take it the sky isn’t normally this colour?” 

I shook my head. “Usually there’s more blue.”

Saero made a sound I couldn’t interpret. 

I glanced back at him, but his attention was focussed to the West towards the Rockies. That way was more forested than the rest of our property, but even the large, old growth pines couldn’t hide the slowly pulsing white-purple glow in that direction. 

It was a decent ways off, twenty kilometers at least, and Saero was frowning. 

“Why did my magic insist on placing us so far away from the problem area?” he muttered to himself. He took a deep breath and raised his voice a bit, turning to me. “We had better get going. That’s a ways off, and I don’t want to risk damaging your mind trying to use my magic to pull us closer.” 

I turned my attention back towards the glow, then looked slightly to the left where our small barn sat about forty feet from the house. 

“How do you feel about horses?”

~~~

Bad. Saero felt bad about horses.

I hid a snort of amusement as he struggled for the fifth time to mount Queenie, my mother’s placid palomino. The horse looked at me with put-upon eyes, and I shrugged at her. I was mounted bareback on Pharaoh, mom’s blue roan gelding watching Saero struggle to get in Queenie’s saddle. 

The longer I was on the farm, the more myself I started feeling. The details weren’t quite right. The barn had never been quite that shade of white, and Queenie wasn’t quite that tall, but the smell of horse was close enough that it was comforting. This was the place I belonged.

The horses had been tacked up and ready to go when we arrived at the barn. Thank you, subconscious. Getting my demon friend into the saddle, however, was proving to be more challenging. 

He did figure it out though, shaking his head to clear his shaggy black hair from his eyes as he settled himself on the worn leather seat.

“Alright, now how do I make this beast go where I want?” His voice was pitched a few octaves higher than usual, and I had to hide another giggle. 

I held up my left hand showing him the reins I held loosely. “One, these steer the horse. Click your tongue or squeeze your legs to get her to go. Two, she’s not a beast, her name is Queenie, and she’s a sweetheart, so be nice to her.”

Pharoah snorted in agreement, eyeing Saero distrustfully. Phineas, my brother’s horse, gave a whinny from the barn, displeased at being left behind. If any of this was real, I would have turned him out to the paddock before we left. As it was, I muttered another quick apology to the locked up bay and gave a quick tug on Pharaoh's reins, clicking my tongue, and steering him to the gate. “Come one, tenderfoot. We’ve got a ways to go, and I still want to have time to actually learn to use this holy magic you want to teach me.”

I glanced over my shoulder, watching Saero as he maneuvered Queenie into place beside and a little behind Pharoah. 

“It doesn’t really matter how long we take,” Saero told me. “No time is passing in the real world. Or close enough to no time.”

“Huh. Weird. Well at any rate, Queenie deserves better. You’re even worse than Sam was the first time I took him out. Give her head some slack, she’s not about to go off the trail.”

The palomino gave a happy nicker as Saero loosened up on the reins. The demon looked like he felt out of place, which, if I was any judge, was not a sensation he was used to feeling. I shot him a grin. “You should see Alberta in the winter!” 

I distracted Saero from his discomfort with stories about growing up in Canada, telling him about my cantankerous old pony we had growing up, Merle, or the time I crashed my ATV into the river, or when my brother Chris had taken Phineas on his first trail ride and ended up flat on his ass. Slowly, the demon started to relax, enjoying my stories and looking with interest at the various plants and trees I pointed out to him. 

The forest was a lot quieter than I was used to. No birds chirped or flapped overhead, no deer or lynx prowled through the undergrowth. The whole place had an air of anticipation to it, like the forest was holding its breath. It was very strange.

Slowly, I brought Pharaoh’s speed up, Queenie following suit like I knew she would. Saero gulped and tightened his grip on the saddle horn, but didn’t say anything.

It wasn’t long before we passed through the last of the trees between us and the light. The story I had been telling about the Christmas Of The Avalanche died as I looked at what was causing my magic issues. 

It was a meteor. At least fifty feet across, it sat in a crater that was much too small for it, pulsing occasionally with bright purple light. Now that we were in its presence, it felt… oppressive somehow. Malevolent. 

“Huh. That’s. Bigger than I thought it’d be, you know?”

It seemed like Saero had none of my trepidation. Queenie wouldn’t go more than three steps past the treeline, so he dismounted rather ungracefully, his spear appearing in his hand as he walked towards the meteor. 

I hopped off Pharaoh and called after Saero. “Do we need to get back to the house?”

“No, we will be able to get back to the real world directly from here,” he replied absently, not taking his eyes off of the glowing rock as he slid down into the crater. 

I took a moment to bury my face in Pharaoh's mane, breathing in the scent of horse before stepping back and giving a sharp whistle. The horses happily turned from the meteor, galloping back the way we had come. I knew they were a construct of my mind, not my actual horses, but I still felt better knowing they were far away from this place. 

“Do you need me to do anything?” I asked as I jogged to catch up to Saero. God, jogging felt good. I missed being able to  _ move _ . 

"No," he replied absently as he kept slowly walking around the thing as he inspected it. 

“What is this  _ from? _ ” I asked as we kept walking. I reached a hand out, but stopped long before I was in any danger of touching it. I could feel energy radiating out of it, as well as that aura of wrongness that set my teeth on edge.

Saero crouched down, placing his palms on the ground and sending out a pulse of white light into the soil. “Trauma manifests in a lot of different ways,” he said, standing back up again and continuing to walk. “You weren’t able to use your magic to defend yourself while you were held captive, so something in your subconscious has decided that you don’t deserve to have it back. That’s ridiculous of course; it’s hardly your fault that the dungeon you were held in was spelled to prevent you from defending yourself. But the subconscious is a strange place that doesn’t work on logic as your consciousness understands it.”

I hummed a bit, following along as he kept walking, crouching at various points to push light into the ground. “And what’s this light show doing to help?”

“I’m loosening the block,” he replied. “Can you feel any changes in your magic?”

I flexed my hand, focusing on my power. Something was different. What had been a bare current since the boys had rescued me felt… closer to the surface somehow. 

“A little bit,” I told him. “It feels… better somehow?” Saero nodded and kept doing what he was doing. 

I watched the meteor, clenching and loosening my hands as I felt my magic change. 

The pulses of light from the huge rock were getting closer together, and it seemed to be shuddering slightly. It was a slight shiver, almost like the glowing rock was going in and out of focus. As the pulses grew closer together and the shuddering grew stronger, I slowly extended my hand towards the grey stone. 

Saero stopped what he was doing, but didn’t make a move to prevent me from touching it.

The aura of wrongness was still there, but my magic coursed beneath my fingertips and called to the rocky surface. 

The moment my fingertips touched the rough exterior of the meteor, the shuddering and the glowing light suddenly stopped, as if its power had been cut. 

Fingers pressed to the stone, I froze. The air suddenly took on an anticipatory quality, like something was watching and waiting to see what would happen. Beside me, Saero took up a defensive position, his spear held across his body as he waited for whatever threat was making the hair on the back of our necks stand on end. 

Then, the ground started shaking, bucking like it wanted to get rid of us. Struck by the sudden thought that losing contact with the meteor would be disastrous, I took a half-step closer to the massive chunk of rock, pressing my hand flat against its surface. 

A few trees on the edge of the crater cracked loudly as they snapped in half and groaned to the ground, the shaking earth getting worse. The meteor seemed to be growing cold under my palm, rapidly turning frigid to the point that it hurt to keep my hand on it. 

“Saero?” I asked through gritted teeth. I was practically shouting to be heard above the sound of crashing trees and rumbling earth that still surrounded us. “This sucks. Anything you can do to make it not-suck would be appreciated!”

“I don’t know what’s going on! I’ve never seen a blockage react like this!”

“Should I try to use my magic?!”

“At this point I don’t think it would do any harm!”

On that reassuring note, I took a deep breath and focussed on the magic I had within my veins. 

Even when it had been working properly, I was far from adept with my magic. My most common use of it was as a light source, to help me find things I had misplaced, or occasionally to help me calm an animal. To use those types of magic, I usually let a small stream of magic pool in my palm, then focussed it into what I wanted it to do. 

This time, I opened the floodgates. 

Raw power poured through my hand and into the meteor without any direction as to what it was supposed to do. I’d never tried that, not giving my magic a goal and just unleashed it. It didn’t seem like a good idea. But I  _ had _ no good ideas right now.

The meteor lit up again, this time with the light blue glow of my magic, shaking as though it was terrified. I grit my teeth and funneled more power into it.

The ground was definitely still shaking, but my awareness of it faded to almost nothing.

Cracks began to form in the stone, spilling my blue light out into the air, a warm hum emanating from the centre of the meteor where my magic was trying to take root. With a yell, I gave one final shove, willing the meteor to break.

With a crack and a burst of light and wind, the meteor broke. My eyes snapped shut reflexively, my arms moving to shield my head from bits of stone. When the light faded, I lowered my arms and blinked to clear my eyes before freezing.

The meteor was well and truly gone, but in its place was a ten foot tall statue of the Demon Lord, about twenty feet from where I was standing. His face was contorted in a snarl, his hands twisted into claws, reaching for me. It was clearly just a statue, but something about the eyes struck fear into my very core. 

“Abigail?” Saero’s voice sounded distant through the sound of blood rushing in my ears as my attention remained focussed on the grim, stone form of the man who had tried his best to break me. “Nothing can touch you here. This is your world, you control it.”

I was holding my breath. When had I started holding my breath? I sucked in a deep, shuddering breath and wrapped my arms around myself. 

“He’s not here, it’s not real, he’s not here-” I was shaking like a leaf, but the chanting was helping. 

“I can sense your magic returning,” Saero said from somewhere behind me. I made no move to take my eyes off of the statue, feeling like a rabbit under the gaze of a fox. 

I took a small step back, trying to shove my panic down. Like Saero said, this was my head, not the real world. The fact that he was a statue was helping too. I didn’t take my eyes off of the stone Demon Lord, some small, hysterical part of me certain that if I looked away he would leap to life and hurt me.

However, as that continued to not-happen, and it remained just a statue, the panic clenching my chest loosened slightly. I still felt like I was going to be sick, but less likely to pass out. 

I really, really didn’t want to think about what it could mean that I had a statue of the Demon Lord taking up residence in my head. 

Staying a few feet away from me, Saero stepped into my field of view and held out his hand. “Come on, let’s get back to the real world.”

Mouth too dry to speak, I nodded, still not tearing my eyes away from the Demon Lord. I lifted a shaking hand out towards him, keeping the other arm wrapped around myself. 

There was a flash of white light as Saero took my hand, and my view of the statue Demon Lord was replaced by Searo standing in front of me, eyes glowing white, with his fingers pressed to my temples. I suddenly became aware of a splitting headache knifing through my head.

I managed to stop myself from yelping at the sudden change in scenery, the pain, and someone I wasn’t super familiar with touching me, but it was a close thing. 

If I yelped, Sam would come bursting in and nothing productive would get done. 

Seeing the distress in my face, Saero removed his hands and took a few steps back as the glow in his eyes dissipated. 

We stood in silence for a bit as I took some time to compose myself.

I pulled my legs up to my chest hugging them to me as I tried to ground myself in my surroundings. 

The bed I was sitting on smelled like Sam, the fire crackled warmly behind me, and my magic thrummed beneath my skin, stronger than it had been in a long time. I was okay. The statue of the Demon Lord was just in my head, and he couldn’t hurt me anymore. Not while I had Sam and his brothers and Diana and Saero around. I was okay.

Slowly, my heartbeat slowed, and my breathing steadied. I was still shaking a bit, but that wasn’t going to get better until Sam came back. And I wouldn’t get any work done if that happened, so that wasn’t going to be for a while. 

I held a trembling hand palm up in front of me and conjured a softball sized orb of light in front of me, the blue tinged light cascading brightly through the room. I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding.

It had worked. My magic was back.

I clenched my hand to dismiss the light, looking back to Saero. “Thank you. What are you going to teach me?”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyy, last chapter! i wanted to say thank you to weBevibin and imthegalacticstarfish for their comments on basically every chapter. it really helped motivate me to finish this thing.   
> i was rereading my chapter notes and i realized i never said that the title of this thing is from Carry You Home by Zara Larson. it's where i got The Vibe for this fic, so give that a listen if you feel like it.  
> i hope to get the first few chapters of the prequel fic i've written up by the end of the month. that should hopefully be doable, since i have a large portion of it written and really just need to edit the first 3-4 chapters. stuff happens so i might not, but that's the goal  
> ANYWAYS hope y'all enjoy the last chapter of Carry You Home

I let my hand fall into my lap as the last of the white glow of magic faded from the room. I swayed for a moment, incredibly glad I was sitting on the plush bed rather than standing in the main hall. 

Saero gave a nod of satisfaction. “If all goes to plan, you should be able to protect yourself.”

“When has anything in the past two years of my life ever gone to plan,” I muttered, my nails digging into my palms as I flexed and clenched my hands in my lap. Tingles of magic still shot through my veins. It was familiar and comforting, good to have my magic back, but it had always been an odd sensation.

Saero gave a soft snort. “Fair enough. Nonetheless, you have the tools to protect yourself now.” He took a step towards the door, but paused when I lifted my hand to get his attention. It was trembling a bit. I honestly didn’t know if it was from exhaustion or fear of the question I was about to ask.

“What can you tell me about that statue?”

“Ah.” He turned back towards me. “It’s still blocking a bit of your magic. Clearly not enough to have a noticeable effect on your abilities, but a bit nonetheless.”

I barely managed to stop myself from rolling my eyes, fingers twisting anxiously at the duvet in my lap. “Alright, but why is there a statue of him in my mind at all?”

Saero tilted his head and thought for a moment, looking like he was choosing his words carefully. 

“The statue, the meteor, those were all… metaphors, just there so we had something to interact with and affect. I’m not a healer, but were I to guess, I would say the statue is representative of your trauma.” He turned his gaze on the wall behind me, still looking like he was lost in thought. “Being as I couldn’t get rid of it at the same time as the block on your magic, it’s likely-”

“I’ll have to deal with the trauma myself,” I said slowly, dragging a hand through my hair, pulling it back and away from my face. 

He nodded. 

“Thank you for all your help,” I told him, giving him a tired smile. He nodded again, turning and heading to the door once more. 

Almost as soon as Saero opened it, Sam slid past him. He gave my fiance a dirty look, but he seemed to take my earlier admonishment seriously and didn’t say anything. 

Sam himself didn’t even notice, his eyes fixed on me as he gave me a once over, probably looking for any sign I was upset. 

I felt my smile widen, and I made grabby hands at him. Some small amount of tension fell out of Sam’s shoulders, and he closed the distance between us as Saero closed the door behind him. 

“How’d it go?” Sam asked, taking my hands in his and leaning down to press a quick kiss to my forehead. 

I hummed happily, pulling him closer to me, forcing him to half-crawl onto the bed. “It was pretty good,” I told him, scooting back a bit to give him more room. “I’m tired.”

He disentangled our hands and slid around me until his back was to the headboard, pulling me with him until I was nestled against his chest. 

“I guess we should go to sleep then.”

I nodded in agreement, but tugged his arms until they were wrapped around me again and started playing with his fingers. 

“I’ve got this,” I told him with more confidence than I felt. “Saero was really helpful, and I’ve got a good handle on the shield spell he taught me.  _ And _ I learned some offensive magic, too.”

Sam hummed noncommittally. I almost turned to see his face, but he rested his chin on my head. “Seriously, Sammy. I’ve got this.”

“I know,” he sighed. “You’re a badass. I know that. I’m just… I’m worried, I guess.”

I held up our left hands, his on top of mine, and splayed our fingers so mine were peeking through the gaps in his. Our engagement rings shone in the flickering light from the fireplace, giving the silver rings a brassy sheen. The designs on mine were more intricate, but they looked good together. Like they belonged side by side. 

“That’s alright. I’m worried too. I’m panicking, actually. But we’re in this together, remember?”

Sam wove his finger through the spaces between mine. “Together,” he agreed.

I smiled, pulling our intertwined hands to my lips and kissing the back of his hand before letting them fall back into my lap.

“Sam. Do you think I’m weak?”

I felt the muscles in his chest tense in surprise. 

“No, of course not.”

I nodded, but bit my lip.

“What made you think that I think you’re weak?” he asked, disentangling his right hand from mine to rub my arm reassuringly. 

I gave a half-amused snort. “It’s not really you specifically, worried isn’t the same as thinking I’m weak,” I admitted. “It’s most of the others. They look at me like… like I’m broken, I guess. It’s gotten a little better the last day or so, but when they look at me I can see the pity in their eyes, that they’re thinking about what happened to me and feeling sorry for me. I appreciate that they care about me, but it makes me feel like a victim, which just starts to send me spiraling again.”

He stayed quiet for a moment, holding out his hand again. I intertwined our fingers once more, playing with his nails as he sorted through his thoughts. 

“I think that they don’t realize that’s what’s happening,” he began. “They just know that you, one of their closest friends, a member of the family, went through something awful and they think their pity helps somehow?” he offered tentatively.

I nodded. “Probably. I think  _ they  _ think they’re being supportive. But my mom told me once that pity is one of the least helpful reactions to have. It doesn’t help the person move towards healing, it just keeps them stuck at the level of emotional trauma they’re at, and there are plenty of other ways to help a person in moving on. I don’t think I ever took that seriously until now, or really understand what she meant.” 

I turned our hands over, so the back of my hand was facing up, studying the freckles that spattered the skin there. “I’m super lucky. Before this, I never had any serious trauma to deal with. Mom always insisted all of us talk to a counsellor regularly, even just to vent about the injustice of being given a talking to for acting out in school or whatever. I see what she meant now. People looking at me like that just makes me feel like I would be justified in wallowing and hiding from the world. But that’s not who I want to be.”

“You’ve never hidden from anything as long as I’ve known you.”

I could hear the wry smile in Sam’s voice, and a grin of my own broke across my face. “Not true! Remember when I hid from you for two and a half hours in the second floor linen closet?”

“Hide and seek doesn’t count,” he snorted, half laughing. 

“Does so,” I countered. 

“Does not.”

“Does so.”

“Does not.”

“We’re the most mature people I know.”

“Yes, we are,” Sam agreed, nuzzling the top of my head. 

I laughed, settling more comfortably against his chest, enjoying the warmth of his arms around me. 

“When we get back,” I started slowly after a few moments of comfortable silence. “I wanna track down a… demonic psychologist I guess? I need to talk to someone about all this, and I don’t think mom has the contacts I need. They’d probably lock me up.”

Sam nodded against my head. “Maybe Irene or one of my brothers knows someone.”

I hummed in agreement, pulling his arms around my shoulders and loosely gripping his forearms. “We were supposed to go to sleep.”   
“Yeah.” His arms tightened around me. “You need to get some rest.”

I twisted a bit, craning my neck to look at him from the corner of my eye, wrinkling my nose. “You are not immune from need-to-sleep, Mr. Lord of Dragons.”

He kissed my cheek. “Yes, Ms. Lady of Dragons.”

“Lady of Dragons. I like that.”

~~~

“Abigail!” 

I could barely hear Sam calling to me, so loud was my heartbeat in my ears. 

We were in the Demon Lord’s castle, Diana, Sam and I. They had told me to wait on the other side of the doorway in the white marble hall, not wanting me to get closer to the battle than I absolutely had to. I appreciated the thought, but I  _ hated _ feeling helpless, and the sounds of fighting, Sam grunting in pain specifically, had all but physically forced me to take a few steps into the room.

It was a large hall, what had once been the throne room. I recognized it from the vision Damien had shown me back when I first met the boys. The marble floor was cracked, stained with soot and fresh blood, the large throne singed and cracked atop its pedestal. The vaulted ceiling high above us made the noises echo and reverberate in strange ways, muddling the true source of the sounds of panting and pain.

The Demon Lord locked eyes with me. 

I was just standing there, trembling like a scared dog whose abusive master just came home. 

Diana was looking at me in shock. Sam was trapped in a shattered crater blown in the marble floor, his father’s hand pinning him by his throat, the other hand raised to punch him. Diana was off to the side, saber clenched in a determined hand as she tried to catch her breath. Sam and his father were closer to the middle of the room. 

Closer to me. 

I hadn’t even thought. At the sound of Sam crying out in pain, my feet had just carried me into the room, wanting to help. 

But now I was in the room, and the Demon Lord was  _ looking _ at me. 

He threw his head back and cackled, the ominously familiar sound making me tremble harder. 

“Oh good, you  _ did _ bring your little human pet,” he said to Sam, hand tightening around his throat. “Did it tell you how much fun we had? Maybe once we’re done here, I can have fun with it again.”

I whimpered in terror, taking an instinctual step back, pressing against a wide pilar as though I could disappear into the cold stone. I felt my body trying to shut down, and fought against it with every fiber of my being. The adrenaline coursing through my veins and knowing Sam and Diana were there helped.

Sam tried to say something, eyes burning with rage as he struggled against his father, but he couldn’t get any words past the hand around his throat. 

“You’ll never touch her again,” Diana snarled, launching herself at the Demon Lord. The distraction was what let Sam break free of his grip, and he joined Diana in beating the hell out of his father. 

As the baleful gaze of the Demon Lord lifted from me, I felt my knees threaten to give out. I managed to remain standing, hands on my thighs, trying to control my breathing. 

I closed my eyes as the sound of sword ringing against sword rang through the space, the occasional roar of anger or pain filling the room. 

The pressure of the room changed, red light flaring through my closed eyelids. I opened my eyes enough to see Sam in his incubus form, surrounded by his purple-green aura, now also tinged with red, wings made of fire bursting from his back. He looked more powerful than I’d ever seen him. Pride burst to life in my chest, and a satisfied snarl twisted my lips as I saw fear flicker in the Demon Lord’s eyes for the first time.

Diana landed a few feet away from the clashing demons, her own black wings shaking with fatigue as she watched them, trying to catch her breath. I could see she was injured, blood oozing from a half dozen deep wounds. 

They seemed to be doing alright, all things considered. But would it be enough? Would the Demon Lord win and I end up right back where this whole thing had started? 

Another wave of terror wracked through me, and I shut my eyes again, trying to control my breath. 

“Abigail, look out!” Diana’s voice snapped me out of my breathing exercises a moment later, and I looked up to see a bolt of red electricity hurtling towards me.

With a squeak, I instinctively brought my arms up in an X in front of my head, a white barrier of holy magic flaring in front of me. The electricity fizzled against my shield, and I mentally thanked Saero with every fiber of my being as I let the energy fizzle out and the barrier fade, looking wide-eyed at the demons. 

The Demon Lord had his fingers extended in a tense claw towards me, a surprised look on his face. 

“So the pet has learned to defend itself,” he said with an amused chuckle. 

The trembling of my muscles was renewed, but I felt something other than fear, too. 

Hatred.

How dare this monster?

First he had taken me away from the love of my life on our wedding day. Then he had done unspeakable things to me, had his minions torture and drain me of not only my energy, but my sense of self. Now he tried to kill me? 

Terror still running through me, I glared at him. “Fuck you,” I spat out with as much venom as I could muster.

“Oh, and the pet has grown teeth!” the Demon Lord said, voice full of amusement. “Why don’t-”

He was cut off by Sam running his sword directly through his chest from behind, fire blazing along the red blade. 

“Die, you piece of shit,” he growled, pushing the sword down to tear through more vital organs. 

I couldn’t drag my eyes away as the Demon Lord collapsed, falling off Sam’s sword with a final gasp. 

Then Sam was beside me, wings and aura gone, arm around me, supporting me as my legs gave out. It was over. 

“I gotcha,” he said, holding me up. “He’s dead, Abby, he can’t hurt you anymore.” 

I looked up at Sam, smiling through tears I hadn’t even noticed were trailing down my face. I tried to speak, but I couldn’t find the words, so I just reached up and stroked his cheek. I searched his eyes for any regret or grief at having to kill his father, but there was nothing but love and concern for me in his emerald gaze. 

I kissed him for a moment, before reluctantly pulling back. “Go check on Diana,” I told him. “I’ll… I’ll just stay here for a minute.” My legs still wouldn’t support my weight. 

Giving my forehead another quick kiss, Sam lowered me to the ground, my back against the wall. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” I replied, smiling at him. 

He went to Diana at a normal walking pace rather than using his super speed. He was clearly exhausted by the battle, and I couldn’t help but worry for him.

I thumped my head back on the wall, looking up at the ceiling and thanking whatever deity cared enough to be listening that we had survived, that this nightmare was over. 

We would go home. Sam and I would get married. We’d pick out a puppy. And I’d put myself back together, with Sam’s help. We were going to be okay. 

I caught sight of movement at the edge of my vision. 

Covered in his own blood and who knew what else, the Demon Lord was moving. My heart seized in horror, and my throat clamped shut with fear before I could call out for Sam. He was distracted with Diana, helping treat her wounds and stop her own bleeding. 

I expected the Demon Lord to turn to me, his half dead form focusing on making me suffer one last time, but he seemed focused on Sam. Rage and hatred burned in his eyes as he lifted a shaking hand, red crackling energy gathering in his palm. Neither Sam nor Diana noticed what was happening, and I couldn’t make my mouth work to utter a single sound to warn them.

In my mind's eye, I saw the scene play out. He’d hit Sam with every last bit of energy he had left. Sam would turn into a pile of ash. Maybe he’d have time to scream, maybe he wouldn’t, but my love would be dead. Diana would send the boys and I home, and I would go back to the mansion alone. I would walk through the halls, the hollow sound of my own steps echoing around me. I wouldn’t finish my degree. I wouldn’t move back to Alberta. I would just… waste away. Without Sam, what did I… who did I have to live for? Images of my mothers and my brother passed before my eyes, but they didn’t make me feel anything but a distant regret and guilt. They would be so ashamed of me. The Demon Lord would break me. He would win.

No. 

This monster had taken so much from me, I wouldn’t let him take this too. 

With wordless fury, I gestured at the Demon Lord. I put all the energy and anger I could muster into one bolt of bright white energy, and it streaked from my hand, full of righteous rage. 

There was a loud crack, almost like a thunderclap, as my attack struck its mark, and blazing white light filled the room making me close my eyes. 

The light died down, and exhaustion crashed over me, but I had to see. I had to make sure I had struck true and the Demon Lord was truly dead. 

Peeling my eyes open, I was shocked to see burnt and cracked marble where the Demon Lord had previously been. There was no sign of a body or anything, just shattered and blackened stone. 

Diana and Sam were looking at me in astonishment. 

“He wasn’t dead,” I said in a small voice. Blackness was starting to creep in around the edges of my vision. “I am probably about to pass out, though,” I informed them, voice only shaking a little. 

As I started to tip over, I felt Sam’s arms wrap around me. “I gotcha. Get some sleep, doofus,” I heard him say softly. My eyes already shut, I smiled slightly.

We were gonna be okay. 

~~~

Sam set another plate of food in front of Abby. 

“Eat,” he told her. She rolled her eyes, but dutifully picked up her fork and stabbed a piece of meat. 

“Yessir,” she said, sticking the food in her mouth. 

Sam ruffled her hair before beginning to pick at his own meal. 

The celebrations were in full-swing, demons crammed in the halls of Lilith castle, partying like their lives depended on it. Alcohol sloshed from mugs, and you practically had to shout to be heard over the sounds of laughter and music.

He had thought Abigail might find it overwhelming, but she seemed happy enough to be included in the festivities. 

He really needed to work on that, stopping thinking of her as fragile. She looked a lot better than she had when he had first seen her in James’ arms, and even beyond that, she seemed a hell of a lot happier. She was smiling and laughing, and engaging with random demons celebrating around them almost as if nothing had happened. 

Of course, he knew her well enough to read the darkness that occasionally flicked through her eyes, or the way she jumped at sudden noises of shattering pottery or shrieks of laughter. Progress was progress, though. 

There was also what she had told him about pity setting her back. She had excluded him from that, implying that the way he treated her didn’t bother her and wasn’t a source of setback in her recovery. It was still something he’d have to keep in mind, though. 

He was lost in thought, watching the festivities when Abby caught his elbow. “It looks like Diana wants to talk to me.”

Sam followed Abby’s line of sight, seeing Diana disappear through the large doors. “You sure?” he asked. 

She nodded. “Yeah. I’ll be right back.” 

“You want me to come with?”

“Nah, I’ll be okay.”

She kissed his cheek and disentangled herself from the bench seating, following the purple succubus out the doors. 

Sam would have sat there motionless, watching the door and trying to listen for sounds of Abigail in distress until she came back if Saero hadn’t slid into the seat across from him. 

“What do you want?” Sam asked, not entirely managing to keep the irritation from his voice as he tore his attention from the door and directed it at the other demon. 

Saero glared for a moment, then took a deep breath. “I don’t know what she’s told you about the block in her magic-”

“That sounds like her business, not yours.”

Eyes narrowing, Saero pushed on. “Then I suggest you ask her about it. She will not fully recover until she-”

“Again,” Sam interrupted, knuckles turning white as he clenched his hand into a fist on the table top. “That sounds like her business. Why are you so interested in her?”

Turning his attention to the wall to his left, Sam watched the jaw in his muscle work for a moment before he replied with what seemed like a non sequitur. “You are an irresponsible brat. You and your brothers ran from your duty, leaving the rest of us to deal with the Demon Lord and the mess he was making of this plain.” There was real rage in Saero’s voice, and Sam was taken a bit aback for a moment before his own anger rose to meet the other demon’s. Saero, however, pressed on before Sam had a chance to defend himself and his brothers. “Diana has been through unimaginable pain because of you and your brothers’ irresponsibility. And Abigail deserves better than you.”

Sam blinked in surprise, most of his anger leaving him. It was weird to have something he felt repeated back to him. He’d always felt that Abby deserved better than him. Before, he had simply been grateful that she loved him, and selfishly kept her for himself. Now… now, if he had the guts, he would break up with her, let her find someone who deserved the light that shone so brightly from her. But he didn’t have the guts. He loved her too much to let her go.

“You think I don’t know that?” he snapped at Saero.

“Good. At least you have that small shred of self-awareness. Now, become someone she  _ does _ deserve. Because against all odds, she loves you, and I doubt she will be convinced to do otherwise.”

Sam blinked at him for a moment, and was about to reply when Abigail herself slid onto the seat beside him. 

“Hey,” she said slowly, looking from one demon to the other. “Everything going alright?”

Sam took her hand. “It’s fine.” He said with a smile that was only half forced. 

“Indeed,” Saero agreed before standing up. “We are planning to open the portal back to the human world tomorrow morning. It would be best for you both, as well as the other incubi, to be well-rested.” With that, he left, quickly disappearing into the mass of celebrating demons. 

“That was kind of weird,” Abigail remarked. She grabbed her drink and took a sip before giving Sam’s hand a squeeze. “You sure everything is fine? I’m kind of a magical badass now, and I’m more than willing to defend your honour, even if I kind of like him.”

Sam chuckled, returning the squeeze. “No need for that, Abs. Just a friendly discussion.”

She arched an eyebrow, but shrugged and turned her attention to her food. “As long as you’re sure. On a different note, I don’t think Diana has ever had a platonic hug before?”

~~~

Wrapped in Sam's arms on the entertainment room couch, I could only half pay attention to the movie we were watching. It was Jurassic World. I usually got super into it, pointing out the inaccuracies to Sam. He would smile indulgently, nod his head, and encourage me to keep ranting even though he had heard each and every complaint the last seven odd times we watched the movie. 

I couldn't focus on it, no matter how hard I tried. 

I felt restless. Like I should be doing… something. 

It was a month since we had returned from the Abyssal Plain. Our wedding was tentatively scheduled for next month, back in Alberta on my family’s farm. Sam wanted to give me more time, and I appreciated that, but I wanted to be his wife. I wanted him to be my husband. Beyond that, getting back to my life as it was before was really helping me. 

Going out with Naomi and Suzu, a week in Alberta with my family and the horses, Natalia flying out for a weekend; it all helped me accept that I was truly okay. 

James and Irene had found a demon counsellor in Chicago. A lovely fairy demon who went by Celeste Bradshaw and had these gorgeous blue butterfly wings. I liked her a lot, and she was helping. Sam and I went to see her once a week. He waited in the lobby of her office while I had my sessions, and I was more than capable of driving myself, but he still had a hard time having me out of his sight for too long. I didn't mind the company. 

I still hadn't managed sex yet. I'd been able to help Sam out a few times, though he insisted he didn't mind waiting for me.

I read the truth of what he said in his eyes whenever he told me, that he  _ really  _ didn’t mind, but that didn't mean I didn't feel bad. If I hadn't been recovering, going from having sex three or more times a week to absolutely nothing would have been rough. And  _ I _ wasn't the demon that relied on sexual energy for survival.

I pushed gently back with my head, nuzzling Sam's shoulder as the Indominus Rex tore through the team trying to recapture her. His arms tightened around me in response, thumb stroking across my arm. 

Suddenly, I knew why I was restless. 

I paused the movie, quickly extracting myself from Sam’s arms and turning so I was kneeling between his legs, looking at him, speechless. He started to say something, looking at me in confusion, but I pressed my fingertips to his lips.

"Give me a sec," I said. 

I moved my hand up to cup his cheek, smiling as he leaned into my palm, watching me with confused eyes. 

“I think…” I started slowly after a few moments’ consideration. “I think I’m horny?”

Sam froze, I think he stopped breathing.

“Sam?” I smiled a little bit. “Sam it’s fine if you don’t want to or whatever, but this is progress!”

He shook his head a little bit. “No no, trust me, I want to. I just don’t wanna-”

“Send me into a panic spiral? Honestly, if we take it slow I should be fine. I might panic once we’re done though. That might happen. We won’t find out unless we try though.”

“You’re sure?”

I nodded. “As sure as I’ve ever been.”

That was all he needed. 

Leaning forward, Sam’s lips pressed against mine. They were gentle at first, but quickly became hungry as I returned the kiss. His arms wrapped around my waist, tugging me closer to him. I straddled his lap, tangling my fingers in his hair and trying to press closer to him. His lips trailed down my neck, and I bit my lip to stop a moan from escaping as my head automatically tilted back to give him more room. 

I reached down, tugging on his shirt. His lips left my skin just long enough for me to get it over his head, and I tossed it off to the side as my hands started remembering the divots and lines of his muscled torso. 

His hands slid beneath my shirt, blunt nails digging into my back for a moment before his grip loosened and his lips froze on my collarbone as I tensed. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” I said breathlessly, fighting a wave of nausea. “Just gimme a sec.”

He didn’t move beyond pulling back just enough so his lips weren’t pressed to me as I put my hands on his shoulders, taking a few deep breaths. I closed my eyes, focussing on Sam’s scent. Mountain air and pine needles. Familiar and comforting. 

The ball of panic in my throat slowly loosened until it was completely gone, and I blew out a sigh as my muscles started to unknot. 

“Okay.” I kept my eyes closed, giving his shoulders a squeeze. “Okay, I’m good.” 

Slower than before, Sam’s hands started moving again, softly tracing patterns on my back before tugging my tank top over my head.

“No bra?” he observed, pulling back a bit so I could see his teasing grin. 

“One, it’s movie night, of course no bra, and two, don’t pretend you didn’t notice,” I teased back, tweaking his nose. “Now, I want those lips doing something that makes me see stars, mister.”

“Yes ma’am!”

My fingers dug into his shoulders as he got right to the point, teeth softly nipping at the sensitive skin on my breast. I moaned, grinding my hips down onto his lap and smiling a bit as I felt his eagerness pressing against me. 

He was taking things slow, and part of me hated that, wanting more immediately. The logical part of my brain, however, was grateful for the care he was taking. His lips danced across my chest, lingering in my favourite spots just long enough to make me shudder and whimper before moving on. His fingers dug into my back just enough for me to feel it before lessening their pressure and tangling in my hair, or tucking into the waistband of my sweatpants. 

I moved my hands to the belt of his pants, fumbling a little as I tried to undo the buckle. Sam’s hand closed over mine, moving it up to rest on his shoulder before lifting me up just enough to let him tear his jeans and boxers along the seams, discarding them off the edge of the couch. 

I froze incredulously as he set me back down before bursting into laughter. 

“You just- you can’t- really Sammy? You  _ destroyed  _ a pair of jeans rather than stand up for half a second?”

“I didn’t like that pair anyway,” he said, and I felt him smile as he pressed his lips back to my neck before doing something with his tongue that made me want to forget the absurdity of what had just happened. 

I didn’t  _ quite  _ forget though.

“Well, I like these sweatpants, got that buster?” I laughed breathlessly, dragging my fingers across his back. 

He hummed in acknowledgement, but didn’t let up, trailing his attention along my collarbone. His hands made their way beneath my sweatpants and underwear again, giving my ass a squeeze before using his strength and leverage to lift me up. With a bit of inelegant squirming the last of my clothes hit the ruined remains of Sam’s jeans, and I was completely naked, leaning over him. 

We both paused, breathing heavily and just… looking at each other. Gold flickered in the centre of Sam’s eyes, but I didn’t feel his thrall fall over me. He just watched me carefully, waiting for me to make a move.

I smiled at him, reaching out and cupped his cheek in my hand. “If… if you can, maybe hold off on the thrall this time?” I bit my lip. “I don’t know how I’ll react, and I just want this to go as good as possible.” 

Sam nodded, slowly leaning forward to press a kiss to my cheek. “‘Course,” he said, his voice pitched a bit lower than usual. “I don’t think I can fully control the eyes though.”

I laughed, pressing a slow kiss to his lips before drawing back again. “I could hardly hold that against you, could I?”

Before he could reply, I lowered myself onto him, biting my lip at the sensation of being filled for the first time in over a month. Sam’s hands softly gripped my hips, not moving as he waited for me to adjust. 

After a moment, I grinned at him. “So far so good!” 

“Hell yeah,” he agreed a bit breathlessly as I lifted myself up again. 

I slowly bounced on him for a bit, hands gripping his shoulders for a bit of leverage. I had built up a little bit of speed when I leaned back, tugging him with me. 

“Your turn,” I told him. 

Sam adjusted his grip on me, following my lead and lowering me so I was now lying on my back on the couch, his weight pressing on me, reassuringly solid. 

He kept his movements slow, catching my ear between his teeth, or pressing kisses along my jaw as he rocked in and out of me. 

My nails dug into his back, the sound of both of our moans filled the room. 

I tightened around him, lightly biting his shoulder as I finished, dragging my nails across his shoulder blades. 

Sam slowed to a stop, both of us panting as we tried to catch our breath. 

I closed my eyes, enjoying the afterglow, trailing my fingers lightly up and down his back as we lay there.

I felt lighter than I had before. Better. After that one brief hiccup, I hadn’t panicked! I made it through without once thinking about-

Suddenly, Sam’s weight on me wasn’t reassuring. 

“Off,” I croaked, my breath catching in my throat as my heart started to race and my muscles began to lock up. I felt too hot, but the room felt too cold, and I was shaking like a leaf in a gale. 

Sam was off of me immediately, off the whole couch, in fact. I curled around myself, hugging my legs to my chest as wave after wave of panic rolled through me. 

“Abby, how can I help?” Sam asked quietly from somewhere to my left. 

“Lights please,” I whimpered. 

The lights were on before I finished speaking, illuminating my closed eyelids bright red. I forced them open a sliver, taking in the familiar sight of the entertainment room. 

The Indominus was frozen on the screen, her jaws open, in the act of eating a hapless man in black body armour. Oddly, I found the sight comforting. 

Sam was a foot or so in front of me, he knees pressed into the plush navy carpet as he watched me carefully. 

I focussed on my breathing, and as my heartbeat started to slow, I held my hand out to him. 

Slowly moving closer, he took it, stroking his thumb across the back of my hand. 

It took a few minutes, but eventually I was able to sit up, pull Sam onto the couch next to me and crawl into his lap. 

“That wasn’t too bad!” I said as chirpily as I could manage with a voice that was still a little unsteady. 

Sam laughed, a strained sound that was more than a little hoarse. “I suppose that’s true,” he agreed.

I smiled up at him. “Look, I didn’t cry, see.” I rubbed a hand across my face, showing him my dry palm. 

He tightened his arms around me, burying his face in my hair. “Great.”

“Sammy, I’m all good. Celeste said it would take a while for me to get back to where I was, that it would take a lot of work. This is a pretty big step.”

I felt him nod, face still hidden in the curly mass of my hair. “I just hate to see you like this, that’s all,” he replied. 

I hummed in agreement. “And I hate to be like this. But I think we should focus on the progress.”

Finally removing himself from my hair, Sam smiled down at me. “You’re right, doofus.” 

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to my lips. I tangled my fingers in his hair, pulling him closer to me before he eventually pulled away, pressing his forehead to mine. 

“I do that sometimes,” I agreed.

I loved Sam. It was going to take time. Maybe a lot of it. But he was here to help me when I stumbled. We had been through a lot and came out the other side. We would see each other through whatever the world threw at us and not break. Because we had each other.

And nothing would tear us apart. 


End file.
